December 11, 2009:  Creating my own reality can suck!

 If we create our own reality that must make us pretty powerful.  Marianne Williamson says, “We are not afraid that we are powerless.  We are afraid of how powerful we really are.”

 There is also this saying along that like that says, “Be careful what you wish for.”  Along that line we get what we focus upon.  According to Abraham (www.abraham-hicks.com) it takes about 17 seconds to create a thought powerful enough to begin the creation process.  Remember Law of Attraction:  That which is like unto itself is drawn.  In other words, you get what you believe.  If you believe that life and people are basically good you are probably an optimist and notice the good things around you and that your cup is half full.  If you believe that somehow you were born on the crap end of God’s stick then you are more likely to be pessimistic and tend to be drawn to what is going wrong.  Your cup is definitely half empty.

 The majority of the women I worked with in the criminal justice system definitely believe they missed any sort of blessing from God, do not feel worthy of success and keep validating their personal truth with criminal behavior, while at the same time feeling victimized

 In fact their beliefs of personal lack are so strong that they are most vulnerable for relapse when they begin to do well.  Receiving what they want goes so against their personal beliefs that they must screw up to feel like themselves again.

 Most of us do something similar.  We have that old ugly overcoat of pain and ugliness that we can slip into from time to time.  It feels awful but strangely familiar in a way that is validating.  And it doesn’t lead to us going to jail.

 I have a deep belief that my personal needs will not be met by the world around me.  That triggers a need to control people and conditions so I can be safe.  I was reminded about my personal power and my negative beliefs in my battle with Walgreen’s vs. my insurance carrier.

 I gave Walgreen’s a prescription for something that was definitely necessary to my well being and feeling particularly vulnerable adds to the mix.  Day number one Walgreens said my insurance would not cover the medication even though I had been receiving it from another pharmacy.  Then there was day two and calls to Walgreens and my physician.  Then day three, and day four pass.  By day five my anxiety and rage were through the roof.  Doesn’t anyone hear me?  What about me?  I felt so victimized and jerked around.

 Wait a minute!  It dawns on me.  I create my own reality.  You mean I created this shit?   Yes I did.  I was in a dance with Law of Attraction.  Even my doctor said, “I can’t believe this.  This never has happened to me.”  Actually, when I thought about it that made me rather proud.  Yes, I bad!  The light bulb went on.

I do not believe that if I ask for those really, really important things that the world around me sees me or cares, particularly insurance companies or doctors, or pharmacies.  Bingo!

In that moment my energy shifted from not believing I would get the prescription to believing that it would come that day…and it did.

 That’s powerful and we are all involved in this co-creative process.

 With love, Connie