November 24, 2009:  Soul Soup

 My life mantra when I’m feeling crappy has always been, “I can’t do this.”  I think I discovered that one in infancy.  I didn’t have the words but I did have the feelings.  Want go home.

Our cells have feelings.  Cellular memory it’s called.  That really is deep.  So everything we’ve ever experienced we remember.  We mostly have memories after we have acquired language so we have something to hang memories on but before language the memories are there.  They are visceral.

 So when I have my morning bouts of tears but nothing to “hang them on” I know these are very early bodily, emotional, memories that can show themselves when I’m most vulnerable – waking.

 And if I can put words to those physical memories it would be “I can’t do this.”  So, I welcome my baby girl everyone morning to the planet again.

  • Welcome to Planet Earth, Little One
  • I love you and you are safe
  • A lot of other people love you too and keep you safe as well.
  • You may have a lot of feelings and they are all alright.
  • You can feel all of your feelings and we will never leave you.

That’s a good word – safe.  I imagine my village gathered around my infant self and telling her how beautiful and cherished she is and how wanted she is.

 

Okay, my Little One is not very believing at this point but she’s willing to listen.  It does sound good.  And she likes the part about feeling whatever she wants to feel and not being abandoned.  That has a nice ring to it.

 

This is my soul soup.

 

With Love, Connie