November 20, 2009:  She’s Baaack

 

God, I’m so sick of Inner Child crap.  Enough already!  It’s so cliché.  But, dammit, it appears as if I have one and she needs my attention.  Shit!  Not this again.  Take this cup from my lips, PLEEZE!  I’ve inner child-ed myself into oblivion over the years and here she comes again.

 

Perhaps I over dramatize the issue but I have to say that when I began to look at some of my issues with a really good, I repeat REALLY GOOD therapist who has a wonderful spiritual grounding I can see that my morning weeping and grief are a manifestation of my kid calling me home.

 

And I want so badly to go home.  I remember seeing ET, the movie, and when IT says “ET phone home” I swear I lost it for days afterwards.  Lately I’ve been feeling like I can’t do this Planet Earth thing.  Just beam me up, Scotty.  And I realize that my job loss was a very large trigger for landing me on my butt wanting to go home.

 

But the true going home is the return to oneself.  We are so trained away and at such an early age from ourselves in order to please others around us.  First we had to please our parents, then our teachers, then our bosses. 

 

Interestingly enough, as I begin to say hello to my emotional self (I’m going to use that rather than inner child because it closer to the truth and adds more credibility to the “child”) my life is beginning to feel like it has some context, like I’m filling in a map or a puzzle.  And along with that my energy is shifting and with shifting energy my world will change as well.

 

We are energy and energetic vibrational beings as is everything around us.  What we believe is so solidly “real” is a perception of vibration and each of us sees things or interprets the vibrations/things/people around us differently.  We are different every day because as energetic beings we are constantly shifting, expanding, changing.  The Buddhists say that all is illusion.  That’s very close to the same thing.

 

Quantum physics says that the smallest particle of matter is thought.  Change your thoughts and you change the world around you.   There is such a blossoming of this idea in science and literature at this time that some have dubbed this amazing time in which we live “the time of awakening.”   We consciously create our world around us with our thoughts and so we can shift our thoughts and shift our world as well.

 

So today, after I shifted my energy to squarely face my emotional self I manifested the best day I’ve had in weeks.  I had great phone contacts, had lunch with my coach which was off the charts uplifting and then a computer guy actually came to my house and fixed my rebelling pc.  Get this…my internet connection was not working and I couldn’t access my email.  Now that is mind blowing to me.  My connection to the world was “down” but when I got connected with me I repaired my connection to the world around me.  I do not believe in coincidence.  This is the power of our energy,

 

I’m curious now to see if and how my mornings will shift now that my emotional self is on the radar.  (I admit I’m having a hard time letting go of the inner child thing.  Emotional self isn’t quite there for me.)

 

With love,   Connie