May 24th, 2010:  Trauma Trigger Oooops!

Ever been just gliding along in the sunshine and feeling fine with the world and then hit a really deep pot hole that you didn’t see coming?  BLAM!  Jarring as shit.  It’s not that it was that abrupt but I have been feeling totally amazing and then I wasn’t and was in that oh so familiar place of trying to keep my feet under me and slipping quite a bit.  Damn, that’s frustrating.  And even moreso when I know my energy is running fast so when I hit a hole it’s even more frustrating.

But, I know I’ll get back to my sweet place and I know that whatever is going on is coming perfectly in it’s own time to reveal something needed for me to work out more kinks in my energetic system and when I “take the bounce” that this is calling me to do I’ll feel even better.

This morning my guidance came.  It comes so often in the morning when my resistence is not up yet and I’m still waking up.   And my understanding comes in a flash of knowing.  It’s not as if Ihear words…I just get a block of thought that translates immediately.

The content of the knowing is not that important.  What does seem important is the fact that so much of what forms our early decisions about life on this planet comes when we have no language and so it translates as body feelings…visceral feelings.  We should really pay attention to what our bodies are “saying” and that’s tough in a culture that doesn’t value the mind body connection as central to our physical experience called life.

Receiving this knowing allowed me to trace the beginning of the crumby feelings and how they played out over the weekend.  Understanding the trigger and the resulting feelings helps me have confidence in myself and to even honor the whole thing.

We also live in a culture that does not give our emotional selves the importance that it is due.  It is our emotions, a result of our thoughts that tell us if we’re on track or not…it is our guidance from the part of us that is Source energy, God energy if you will.  We came here knowing we would have this guidance to help us navigate through this life.  When we feel good, we and our Source are one.  When we feel negative energy we have become pinched off a bit from our Source energy.  We can never become separated from Source but feeling pinched off is bad enough especially when felling aligned with Source feels so great!

For me it is like following the breadcrumbs home.  I can trace my feelings and thoughts back to where I began feeling pinched off and then change the vibration of the trigger.  If the trigger was an important male sort of person not calling you back when you were excited and rather expecting it (get the picture?) then I need to make peace with that person in my mind in heart. 

There are several ways to do that.  First, forgive myself for having a strong reaction.  Honor the trigger and its roots.  Then actually offer some appreciation for the event/person involved.  That appreciation for me might include becoming more loving towards myself, appreciative to the practice I’m getting finding  my way back to my Vortex of creation.  Being able to leave and come back knowing that the contrasting experience I went through helped me evolve into a more expanded self.

Once that is done, and it may take some time and maybe not, but then I can go back to feeling forward into the possibilities ahead of me and getting back into feeling at one with my Source again.

I want to get back there soon, I’m halfway there, so I can write about the Women’s Motorcycle Riders weekend in Milwaukee this past weekend.  What an amazing event!

Happy Monday, With Love, Connie