May 11th, 2010:  Is Anyone Home?

Do you know what it means to be fully present and in your body?  Have you ever been with someone who seems to have their lights on but no one is home.  A pronounced example of that is someone who is using drugs or alcohol.  They may be physically there but but no emotionally present.  Aside from that we’ve all had the experience with being with someone who clearly has their mind elsewhere.  The experience is anything from annoying to lonely to triggering an anxiety attack.

Have you ever felt absent mentally or emotionally when someone is talking to you?  Either because you are anxious about something else that has your attention or you have strong emotional issues with the person talking which prevent you from being fully present.

There are degrees of being emotionally present.  It’s not as if it’s an either or…it’s on a continuum.  Sometimes we are so used to being present in the world in a certain way that we aren’t aware of not being fully present.

I’m becoming more conscious of how I am not fully present in my life because I’m definitely finding out what it feels like to BE fully present.

More and more for me I feel fully present, fully me when I’m in the Vortex, aligned with who I truly am, feeling the source energy blending with my mental energy into one being.  According to Abraham (see side panel) that is a fully blended being.  But it is a different story when I’m with someone else.

When I was with my therapist yesterday, I had a very interesting discovery of how easily I exit from a situaltion or pull back from the present moment.  It happens easily and had mostly happened at an unconscious level.  But yesterday was a watershed moment for me because I don’t think I can ever disappear energetically from a situation so easily at an unconsious level again. 

I’m so glad I have this time off.  It does take focus to remain present.  And not that remaining present is the gold standard.  There are times when not being present may be of greater benefit.  But to have that choice is critical…to decide whether or not we are going to be present.  It does take practice being present.

This brings so much to light for me.  It explains why I need so much alone time.  I find it hard to be people and not fully present for long periods of time.  It explains why I could feel really present and then go to work and lose myself very quickly.  The moment of possible stress with another appeared, I was gone.

I love feeling present.  There is so much clarity and energy and understanding and joy and love in the moment of being present.  Being fully present with someone is the most precious gift you can give another person.

I want that in a partner and yet was afraid that I would not be able to pull it off myself.  Now that I’ve got a handle on the rascal, I think I’m closer to being the kind of person I want to be with.  And because of Law of Attraction if I can BE it I can attract it.

I must say it can take courage to be present and speak your heart.  I don’t have to do that ALL the time but I want to be able to do it if I choose to do it.

Being present requires the breath.  I breathe myself into the present moment.

With love, Connie