April 14th, 2010:  Hello San Diego

Abraham (see side panel) talks about growing and feeling consistently more positive.  They have described this growth or change process as a journey, a road trip.  They said that Jerry and Esther Hicks have traveled many times from Phoenix to San Diego.  The drive involves a long trip through the desert.  If you compare the trip to the growth process they say that many people would be halfway to San Diego and then get frustrated because they are not in San Diego and so give up and go back to Phoenix.

My growth process has, over the past several months and even looking back over the past years has involved returning to Phoenix.  For so long I’ve wanted to feel good consistently and every time I hit a good feeling period I fear that I can’t sustain it and, of course, I don’t because I create out of my beliefs.  I would crash and feel shitty.  I returned to Phoenix so to speak.  And the whole process begins again.

Over this past year I’ve been feeling better and then crashed.  This has been a process that has helped me grow but always with a crash at the end.  Well, something has happend which I’ve described earlier about knowing what I know.  And making a decision.  I did make a decision to know what I know and I began to feel better and then over the weekend I began to feel more solid and I can say now that it feels to me at an internal level that I have arrived in Phoenix.  Ta-dah. 

I feel solid and good and wake up and can meditate myself into a Vortex of well being that feels amazing.  I kept listening to Abraham when they would say that it takes practice of again and again turning my focus to what feels better.  Practicing feeling good over and over and over and over until it finally clicks in.   I think my vibrational self has finally stabilized at a level that feels much better and finally feels normal.

Abraham says we are born to feel good and that life is supposed to be fun.  That goes against so much of what I was taught that it’s taken awhile to internalize different beliefs.

I’m finally knowing that this will be the best phaze of my life and I’m not afraid.  I don’t pretend that I will never have another doubt again but I can feel that my “set point” of normal has raised considerable.  It’s not as if I’ve never felt this good before but I’ve never felt this confident before that I can sustain it more evenly.  I’m hoping the roller coaster is fading for me and I can expect more consistency.  I’ve wanted this my entire life.  I’ve had it at one other point in my adult life…when I first began taking anti-depressants.  But that time is over and I’m different and I’m requiring more now.  And it feels good to have gotten here on my own focus.

I will keep you posted.  But all is very well today.  With Love, Connie