April 3, 2010:  Making New

Quotable quote:  The energy of a solution is different from the energy of the problem.  Oh, how true, how true.  As I think about the energy of a recent decision I’ve made to feel good and, as Abraham (see side panel) would say, “just get into the Vortex”, I feel good.  That feels definitely good.  And allowing myself to be in the Vortex where all solutions lie is freedom.

I anticipated, therefore created by my beliefs, that there would be a pull back to feeling crappy.  It’s become a habit, feeling crappy, especially over the past year.  And frankly I need practice with focusing on feeling good.   And there is nothing wrong with not feeling good because that just creates stronger energy of what is wanted.  Like if you know what you don’t want you know more clearly what you do want. 

So, I’m experiencing some familiar energy of doubt and fear that I won’t get to where I want to go.  But pushing against this feeling doesn’t help, does it.  It just makes it stronger.  Have you ever told yourself to stop thinking a certain thought and what happens…the thought just gets more obsessive.  So I acknowledge my not good feelings as just information that the Source within me does not see me the way I’m seeing me.   You see the Source within me is in the stream or Vortex of loving, creative energy that holds all solutions.  When I see myself as a problem, I’m spit out of the area of solutions.

So how do I get back in to the area of solutions?  Love myself  Ease up on myself.  Listen to my Inner Being telling me I’m doing wonderful and tune into that love that offers solutions.  That love feels so good and so much different from the problem.  I tune into that love and just allow that energy to Be with me and as I do that the solution will be clear.  Feeling good on the way.

Our brains get into the habit of certain neurological chain reactions which produce the chemicals.  In fact these chain reaction producing chemicals can be addictive.  It’s as if we cry out to feel a certain way, the way our bodies can cry out for certain substances which produce certain feelings.  We can be addicted to feelings.

I believe that I’m so in the habit of certain patterns of thinking that changing them, reversing them, developing new patterns of thinking takes strength of will backed by Love and repetition and success of developing different patterns.  It’s hard to think that it would take a lot of repetition to consistently feel good.  It does.  I know this by working with women in the criminal justice system.  Just as they begin doing well they become most susceptible to self sabotage.  Doing well doesn’t feel real and can be scarey.  I get it.

So, I will see myself with much tenderness and love and hold myself firmly and closely to my Source.  I can feel the anxiety when it appears and keep up a new repetition of feeling good and feeling good and feeling good until that part feels more like me than feeling not good.

I know this can happen.  The solution is in the Vortex of creation.  

Happy Easter.  It is a rebirth.  With Love, Connie