March 5th, 2010: 

I wake again to fear.  The kind of fear I felt one year ago.   And then it was the first time in 32 years I didn’t have a job.  And I struggled with finding myself worthy. 

I still don’t have a “real job”.  But I had to remind myself…whatI’m doing is probably the most important work of my life.  My work is feeling good.  And the kind of feeling good that doesn’t depend on any outside situation to be fixed or created in order for me to feel good.  My work is feeling good from the inside out.  Just because I am.   The critical work is in the being rather than the doing.  And for this society that’s certainly a paradigm shift.

And I had to know and trust that this is true.  Feeling good is the work.  For if I’m feeling good everything I want can come to me.  Some people just say, well bring me the money I want and I’ll get happy or bring me the partner I want and then I’ll feel good.  And it simply doesn’t work that way.  The Law of Attraction will bring us what we want when we are as happy without what we are wanting whatever as we would be with it.  Because when we are being the person happy with whatever we are desiring we are a match to that which we want and it must come to us.  That is a major mouthful.  We imagine ourselves as us already having what we are asking for…feeling good.  And then what we want must come.  

When I can do that I feel wonderful and then there are some days like today when that seems very far away and I become discouraged.  Will my dreams come true?  Will I get what I’m wanting?  A friend with whom I had lunch today said to me…”more will be revealed.”  She also reminded me of how much of what I’m wanting has come about.  Yes that’s true.

I’m feeling the kind of good many times that I’ve wanted to feel.  I have a new car.  I’m going on a cruise a week from today!  My cruise countdown continues.   My family relationships are better.  I’m more appreciative of what I have.  I’m learning to make peace with where I am.

And I look forward to the more being revealed.

With love, Connie