February 20th, 2010:  Abiding with Me

This day is a very challenging one.  In my daily appreciations or gratitudes for the day will be getting through it.  And I know I will be getting through it.  And I guess that is something.  As I mentioned yesterday this has been the lowest on the scale I’ve felt since one year ago.  But with one large exception.  I’m not afraid.  I can experience the grief surrounding loss without fear this time.  I was so frightened last year, I felt so paralyzed.

I may be having an anniversary reaction to the trauma of last year, I don’t know.   I kinda think so.  Growing certainly is not in a straight line but I had no idea this was coming.  I was feeling so great last week so this is frustrating.  But there are certain things I know for sure:

  • I feel my Source holding me and that feels good.  I know that I have grown to the point where I can trust the Source within and I don’t feel abandoned.  This is really big, folks.  I feel held and loved from within.  When I begin to doubt I get quiet and return to the stillness within and know.
  • I trust that this process is needed to get me to a better place…a place where I am wanting to go. 
  • I know that this is not a permanent place…just like my place of joy is not permanent as well.
  • I know that this is a place of creation because as I sit with my tears and wanting to feel better I’m creating a vibrational/energetic picture of me that waits for me to catch up.  Thought forms are at the basis of all there is.  I recommend Ask and It Is Given by Abraham/Esther Hicks.  Everything exists vibrationally before it materializes.

Dudie (bff dog) sits in my lap while I type.  I can sit back and put my hands in his fur.  I have so much to be grateful for in my life right now.  I’m glad to have this place to leave some thoughts.   If I can provide something to someone else that would feel very good to me.

With Lovc, Connie