January 13th, 2010:  Kissing the Ground

I’m continuing to dance with Rumi’s words, “Humans are not for seeing distances.  In one hundred ways, I kneel kissing the ground.”  I’m moving in on being in the present moment, kissing the ground.  I know that the more I can do this my need to control the future will disappear.  Those two vantage points can’t co-exist.

Living in the present moment also is freedom to me.  I want to feel like my eagle brother skimming the lake in northern Wisconsin.  Sometimes I imagine being the eagle and looking out on the lake through eagle eyes.  It’s exhilarating.

So, waking and remembering Rumi I began to make a list of the many ways I kiss the ground during the day.  I listed all that my spirit and body engage in every day from breathing to tasting to remembering to praying to listening and the list got longer and longer.  I so enjoyed making the list and in doing so I realized how rich my days are and what a miracle life is.  I got a sense of what people who have had a brush with death speak of when they talk about savoring life.

There was so much on my list I let go of my sense of what “being productive” means.  What it really means is somehow by my behaviors and actions I can justify my being alive because I accomplished a and b and c, things usually outside of me.  But my list is just me being alive and how rich that is.  It was wonderful to write and feel each word on my list.  Abraham (see sidebar) says that when we are feeling good that our path lights up for us.  I am feeling that.

Then in direct contrast I just opened a letter from my insurance company which rejected a claim I had submitted for several hundred dollars of reimbursement.  I was furious and wanted to pound walls and stage a sit in at the insurance office chaining myself to the door and calling Chanel 4.  Then I began to write this entry even though my heart was no longer in a calm place.

As I wrote and changed my focus and I began to re-experience what I was writing about my feelings changed, my need to strangle a warm neck fading.

I will deal with insurance tomorrow.  What I know for sure is that being human on this planet, kissing the ground is what is important.

With Love, Connie