Vision Keeping

August 26th, 2010:  A Safe Harbor

I saw Eat, Pray, Love last weekend and thought it was amazing.  Our Julia did a great job and when I realized she was in every scene, that was an amazing piece of work for her and the scenery was wonderful.  It truly brought to life Elizabeth’s journey in her book.

One of the most impactful points in her book was when she decided to make her mind a safe harbor or something like that.  She said that she would guard what came into her harbor with a very deep commitment.  She was not going to let in any more garbage, my words and not hers.  No more petty stuff, no more TV news, no more negativity.  Those were not her exact words either but the seriousness with which she took her commitment and the tenderness with which she treated the subject touched me a great deal.  I wept in acknowledgement when I first read it and when I tried to read it to a class of mine I got so choked up that I had to let someone else read it.

Training my mind to a more positive belief system and stepping into my own power has demanded that I take full responsibility for what I choose to observe.  I watch very little TV, I don’t have contact with some of the people I used to have in my life, I choose my movies carefully that I want to go see, I redirect conversation when it starts to not feel good, I put down a book if it doesn’t feel good.

This came on slowly.  I just didn’t go cold turkey one day but as I became more knowing that my feeling good was the key to whatever I wanted in my life I began to take how I was feeling much more seriously.  I began noticing much more closely to how I was feeling.  And, and I think this is a big “and”, I began to respect my feelings as the guidance that they are rather than just a pain in the ass that I was stuck with as a child. 

You see I’ve always been especially sensitive and used to think this was just a weirdness and a cross to bear but then I began to see that I could also look at it as very sharp guidance.  I could know quickly and powerfully whether something was feeling okay or not and then I can choose what to do about it.  I began feeling appreciative that I was given this gift of being so connected to my Inner Being.  And this is not easy to come to in a society that does not value emotions.

So, from seeing the emotional side of myself as “something is wrong with me” to seeing that side of me as just more evolved in some ways has greatly enhanced my well being as you can imagine.  Wow, what I once viewed as my barrier to my happiness has become the key to my joy.

And with that key I am a good sentry for the harbor of my mind.  I do take my job seriously and as a result my tolerance for not feeling good has gone way down and I will not expose myself to situations, people, whatever, that do not enhance how I’m feeling.  And if I do encounter a situation that sucks, no matter.  I can just use that bit of contrast to take the bounce and expand myself.  Also I have a much greater awareness on just how much control I have over the way I feel!

And with these words I’m off to a women’s weekend which should be rich.

With love, Connie

August 23rd, 2010:  Death and Expansion

My air conditioner died.  While this is Wisconsin we have had a rather eerie summer of dew points consistently 10 to 20 points higher than the humidity levels which have been high as well.  My ac worked like a Trojan 24/7 for weeks never a vacation and constantly spitting water and the cold air looking like fog as it hit the warm air.

This is important to me because I’ve always been sensitive to my surroundings and when it comes to my basic comforts I can feel like God is fucking with me if something like happens.  I become a victim.  My survival instincts kick in and I’m planning my escape to cooler air as if I’m calling for the crash cart.

But my beliefs have shifted.  Hallelujah.  The emergency systems can stand down.  I’m good.  Actually I’m better than good because I can use this contrasting situation as a reason to expand.  Abraham (see side panel) calls problems contrast.  Contrast is something not wanted which causes us to ask for what we do want.  This goes on every day and most of the time we may not be conscious of the process because the asking is in most cases an energetic “rocket of desire” as Abraham says that we launch and that our Source answers…immediately. 

So when my beloved ac dies I’m shooting off a rocket big time for cooler air.  But more than that I’m asking for me to feel better.  I’m asking for a stronger, less fearful self as well.  I’m also asking for a place to live with central air.  That’s the ticket!

Now all of that has been launched as well as some things I haven’t consciously named and it has been answered as well.  Ask and it is given.  So where the hell is it?  All things material are vibrational before they manifest.  The smallest particle of matter is thought.  So my stuff is being held for me vibrationally including my improved self that does not need conditions to be good in order to feel good.

So, I quickly got a repair person to take care of the ac and I took the bounce that the contrast had provided for me.  I became/expanded to that person who is good without ac, who feels strong, joyous even all by herself even with the sweat trickling down.  And that is the real gift in this whole deal.  I feel better.

I also decided to trust my body as well and not worry about what it was going to do in the heat or how it was going to betray me with all kinds of weirdness from crack sweat to a heart attack.  Well, that is a bit dramatic but you get the picture.  I decided that I have this amazing collection of billions of cells that are working together and have the capacity to do amazing things if I can get out of their way.

So as sappy as it sounds I sent love to every cell in my body with the thought of great appreciation for all that it does and all that it is capable of doing and let go of the worry.  I mean it.  I let go.

So, despite my lack of ac I feel enormous appreciation of it’s temporary demise and I feel joyous expansion.  That may sound OTT but it’s true.

So where ever you are I wish you well.  Love, Connie

August 16th, 2010:  Something  Greater

We saw the bright orange Air Force helicopter circling low over the downtown buildings this morning and knew that it was about to happen.  The energy of the small crowd picked up.  People opened their cell phones ready for a picture, the police on horse back into place, the police canine into place, men in suits came out of the building, a lot of men in suits and got into vans.  A man came out of a door around the corner and got into a sherrif’s suv and as he closed the door the garrage door of the building directly behind the suv began to lift off of the ground.  It was happening.  First there was the police car, then the 8 motorcycles got into formation 2 by 2, then, the limosine with the flags on each side of the front  and the Presidential seal came out of the building and turned the corner, then a second limosine with the flags at the front and the seal and a man in the back seat in white shirt sleeves came out and joined.  Following that were about 6  white vans carring lots of people, more police cars and finally a black armoured truck anchored the procession.  We watched the limosenes turn the corner to get on the free way to the airport and watched the bright orange helicopter leading from above.  It was stunning.  I had no idea.  I felt tears in my throat.

What was that?  Why my sense of awe and feeling in my throat?  I’m not a groupie.  I don’t like politics.  I don’t think Obama is any more important or better than I am in the larger scheme of things.  So what is this? 

I think it is the immediate sense of something greater than myself in a visable metaphor.  I know it represented the effort of thousands of people working together to make this whole thing happen.  And it was the metaphor, the representation of an idea.  An idea and an ideal in the flesh that clearly we all want and hold dear.

And the sense of nearly other worldly power I flet.  And then I know that power is in me.  It’s not out there but in here.  In me.  And I just got the chance to “touch” it, to “see” it when most of the time I accept it on faith or I know it by the joy in my heart.

And then I feel such appreciation for this morning I had asked that I become more grounded in the new sense of power emerging in me…and then there is was…the affirmation in the flesh.  We all have that power.

With love, Connie

August 11, 2010:  Dog Days

I can’t remember in the 35 years + I’ve been in Milwaukee that the summer weather has been completely ass.  I’m sure I offending my brothers and sisters living in the Arctic Circle and those living in the Amazon.  But I came to Wisconsin partially to escape the summer oppression of Kansas.  I’ve come home.

However, in keeping with my commitment to feel good regardless of external conditions, and this is a big one, I consider this another contrasting experience from which I can take the bounce.  Whenever I don’t want something, I automatically ask for what I DO want and the part of me that is non physical becomes it.  If I don’t follow the separation between the physical me and the non physical me is what causes my negative feelings.

See, I can justify why I’m crabby about the weather because it is in my face so real.  But I can also notice the uncomfortable weather, know that it is temporary, focus on something else and feel good.  It’s like when someone asked Abraham (see side panel) “how can I feel good when my arthritis is so painful?”  Abraham responded that you can feel depressed and in pain or you can feel hopeful and in pain and the difference between the two is whether you will recover or not.

So, part of me wanted to throw a tantrum at the unrelenting heat and humidity…the dew point must be at least 20 points over the humidity…and say ENUFF ALREADY…IT HAS BEEN 7 WEEKS OF THIS CRAP!  But I decided that I’d apply what I’ve been learning for the last year and expand my energy “as if” I’ve got what I’ve been wanting.  And that really isn’t too difficult because the weather will change. 

So I’ve taken the bounce in these dog days and appreciate my shower and clean clothes and air conditioning and up coming road trip and on and on.  It’s so much better that feeling once again like the Universe has put its enormous thumb on my head and saying “take that!”

With Love, Connie

August 7th, 2010:  Manifestation

The better it gets the better it gets.  I am happy to say I now know this.  After a year of reprogrammming how I think thanks to Abraham and Louise Hay (see their information directly from my side panels, I’m glad to say I’m becomming both more comfortable and more confident in a new belief system that is based on the premise that the best “work” we could ever do is to continually feel as good as we can.  The Law of Attraction which is the foundamental “law” on which the Universe spins does the rest.

If I’m vibrating with the energy of the Source within me and feeling aligned with that energy, not only am I feeling really really good but I have more power than a million who are not plugged in to receive what I’m truly wanting.

For some time I have felt like fall will be my time of the manifestion of my next move to not only provide me with a sense of contribution but also with a flow of income.  I believed that when the time was right and I was in the right place that my future steps would show themselves.   But, I’m getting a peek now and my excitement is amped.

I met with my financial manager, which I was rather dreading but another piece of me believed the news would be fine.  And fine it was…my investments are supporting me well despite all the crap we hear.  That’s why I don’t read a newspaper or watch any news on the tele.  It does not contribute in the slightest to my feeling the best I can so it serves no purpose for me.  As I’m feeling so much better my tolerance for not feeling good has gone down quite a bit.

The other great thing is that my financial advisor has a great idea for me to earn some money and after I return from my road trip to Utah and the Grand Canyon I will begin my new venture.  I would like to write about it but I’m not ready to yet.  There are so many unknowns and possible dips and turns.  But suffice it to say that the proposal he made to me is far better that what I could have thought up on my own and feels so right for me.

That’s what Abraham continually says…if you make your main job feeling good then the Universe can go to work and create something that can come to you which will be far better than anything you could come up with on your own.  And here I am now experiencing that.

And another neat thing is that even if this particular idea doesn’t pan out  (but I have every inclination to think that it will) I know there will be others and I am knowing that I am tapping into the feeling of abundance that the Universe holds.  For the first time in my life I’ve been feeling a sense of freedom and joy that I have never known.  And even in the past few weeks I’ve noticed that my ability to feel joy and stay there rather consistently has strenthened dramatically.

When I go outside the sky seems more vivid to me and the birds soaring over the skyline is more beautiful.  Even with this summer weather that is pushing out more sweat that I thought my body could create, I’m not caring.  I’m more happy to be alive.

I hope no one is gagging at this point.  Our society doesn’t have much empathy for joy…really.  Complaining a bit seems to be more of a univeral language.   Perahps it is because we can identify so much more with someone who is complaining rather that someone who is interminably happy.  I may lose friends, literally.  I may choose more carefully who I want to hang around with.  My spiritual, mental, emotional and physical health is on the line.

Enjoy your weekend with some uplifting friends!  With Love, Connie

August 2nd, 2010:  Closing the Gap

Closing the Gap is like an energetic orgasm.  Interested? 

We humans are vibrational beings, the smallest particle of matter being thought.  This is fact, not theory.  So, as vibrational/energetic beings we have the physical piece of us and then there is a larger non physical piece of us that is sometimes called soul, higher power, higher self, Source, God.  We came to this life experience confident because we have an emotional guidance system.  It is with us so that we can see how aligned…or not…we are with our Source.  So, we came confident that we could stay on track with Source because every time we feel negative emotion we can know that we have become pinched off from our Source.

For example if a friend is rude to us we may feel angry, disappointed, sad, all of which are negative emotions.  This is to say that the Source within us does not see the situation as we have see it.  Our Source always sees everything in a loving light and does not look at things that are otherwise.  At this point we are a bit pinched off from our Source within.  This lack of alignment with our Source is the reason for our negative feelings.

At the same time we experience the negative feelings of our friend’s rudeness we automatically send out a wish or a “rocket of desire” as Abraham (see side panel) would describe it, for a more sensitive friend or whatever it is that we wish at the moment.  And because we have asked (and we need not be cognizant that we have asked) it is always given…vibrationally.  In other words, a better feeling relationship is instantly created and exsists in a sort of vibrational escrow for us.  Everything is vibrational before it is manifested…everything including our Earth itself.

So everything we have imagined wanting for ourselves exists in the present tense in our Vibrational Escrow.  That is how we create our reality.  And in order to manifest what it is that we are wanting we must become a vibrational match to what it is that we are wanting.

So back to the rude friend.  In order to become a vibrational match to the nicer friend that we have wished for we must energetically become that me/person with the nicer friend.  We must feel our way to that place of having the nicer friend and feel “as if” that were a reality.  Another word for that is “taking the bounce” that the contrast of the rude friend has created and becoming vibrationally in sync with our wish.  When we do this we “close the gap” between how we are feeling and how the Source within us is feeling.

And when this closing of the gap occurs and we move back into alignment with Source there is this swell of good feeling “orgasmic” energy.  And WOW.  That is why we came here for the expansion of ourselves to ever greater vibrational beings.  Taking the bouce is taking the expansion that our wanting has caused.  We came here to feel that joy and growth. 

And, as an added bonus, we can now bless those situations that cause us contrasting feelings or negative feelings because they are the catalysts that allow us to expand, closing the gap and feeling joyful expansion. 

I’ve finally gotten my pulse around this baby and life is good.  Traffic frustrating, have a mental orgasm.  Partner irritating, take the expansion and have a mental orgasm.  Air conditioning not working, take the bounce and have an orgasm.  It ALL GOOD!  And perhaps the best part is that when we are feeling good we also become in sync with everything else we have wished for and which exists in Vibration Escrow for us and when we are a match or in sync then the stuff that we have asked for must manifest.

Now this entry contains very simple yet very dense ideas.  To get to where I could really get all of this took a great deal of focusing energy but my God it was worth it!

With Love, Connie

July 30, 2010:  Life is Good

I’m really happy to be able to say that life has been particularly good this week.  WOWEE ZOWEE.  Things have been changing right along and lately I’ve felt like I’ve been really close to feeling really good….like an itch that I can just barely scratch but I know I’m really close.

Tuesday in traffic I was on my way to a meeting and knowing the traffic would be slow left early…then I’m in single lane bumper to bumper stuff that stretches for blocks and blocks and through 5 lights.  Ouch.  I could feel my irritation rise.  And then I remembered, a voice in my head says “you are irritated because the Source within you doesn’t see this situation the way you are seeing it and your discomfort is the distance between how your Source is seeing it and the way your physical self is seeing it.”  Okay, yes, I’m with you so I know that I’m already asking for something better…I’m sending thought vibrations out asking for better traffic and so I “took the bounce” and expanded myself to the place of better traffic and closed the gap between the physical and the Source me.  And when I did that I felt great immediately.  I felt so good so fast that I got my own attention and understood in my bones the power of aligning my physical self and my Inner Being/Source self.  I hope this makes sense.  I know I’ve talked about this before and will be talking about it more.

Now I had done this before but I had not done it so resoundingly good.  The switch in my emotions from frutstrating to great was clear in a powerful way and I knew I had connected the dots in my mind and soul that I had not connected before.  EUREKA, Baby!!!  Power up.

The rest of the week just kept gaining steam but that’s for another time.

With Love, Connie

July 25th, 2010:  A New Lens

I have taken a few days off from writing.  The Universe seemed to cooperate as I had to create a new password to the dashboard of this website and then promptly lost it after being so sure I was placing it in a protected place!

I have added a new daily practice to my routine and I can’t say enough about how it has helped.  I was in the right place to try something new as I was saying that times were a bit bumpy this past week.  BUT, I’ve finally tried a new process that Abraham (see side panel) has suggested.  I’ve asked myself why I did not do this sooner and I think it’s just the way it is with practically everyone.  Change is hard.  I thought I had tried it and gave up too soon.  I can remember trying it and because it didn’t reap spectacular results immediately I said screw it!

I think energy change can be like taking an herbal “medicine”.  It’s more gentle on your system so you don’t always see the dramatic results as with chemicals but after a few days/weeks the change can be dramatic.  So c’mon what is it!   Out with it!

If you look back on this site over the past months I’ve mentioned that mornings have been difficult for me for awhile…how about several years.  Mornings have varied from being okay to being something so bad I didn’t want to go to sleep at night.  Abraham has said that you will wake up with the same energy with which you went to sleep.  Now I didn’t think I went to sleep that afraid but I was still waking up afraid so I wasn’t sold.  It made sense to me in my head but didn’t seem to fit my situation.  “Well, I went to bed last night feeling pretty good and I wake up feeling crappy.” 

But I did try it a few months back.  I got myself into a good feeling place before I went to sleep and when I woke up I couldn’t feel an obvious change so I thought,  “well, it might work for some people but God knows I’m not ‘some people’ so I’m just stuck with myself…screwed again.”  I think that’s how it went.

Then about a week ago I finished a really good book I’d been reading at night and began a new one.  The new one is John Irving’s Widow for One Year.  Now I love John Irving but I had forgotten how his characters can be very sexually mixed up along with being depressed…not a good combination and my mood in the morning dipped as well.  I didn’t want John Irving’s messed up sexuality and depression invading my space.  At the same time I listened to an Abraham tape where they urged a very crabby- in- the- morning mother  to shift her vibration before she went to bed the night before.

Okay, Universe, I hear you loud and clear.  I put John Irving down and picked up Three Cups of Tea.  At the same time I did a focus wheel after Three cups and brought myself into the Vortex or feeling really good before sleep.  The next morning I did feel a shift…not a huge one but there was something different and so I did it the next night and the next night and the next night.  Now I can absolutely say that I’m waking up in the morning very ready to get in the Vortex and knowing that it is close.  I also feel like I DID GOOD!   Pat, pat, pat.

And I’m taking this energy into the day!  I’m a believer.  Try it and be gentle with yourself!

With Love, Connie

July 21, 2010:  Taking Shape

I have to admit the going has been bumpy for awhile and I was discouraged at times and I would put off writing…I just can’t talk about not feeling good because it causes more energy to be more focused there.  So, I’d rather stay silent rather than expand something that is not feeling good.        So…………

I truly have some knowing that within my energy/spirit some big time surrendering is going on.  I wish I could be more articulate about it but I can’t and that is perhaps why writing is rather difficult as well.  I absolutely know that I’m moving in a good direction and preparing for my walkabout road trip in early September.  I know I am moving positively and with a feeling of surrender.    So…………

Surrender of a sharpely conscious physical thinking self to a more spirit led self in the present moment..,..now even I don’t know what the hell that means.  But the feeling is one of putting my physical brain on the back burner, not out of commission by any means but just not in control and allowing something bigger to emerge to take charge.

AA has a saying “let go let God” and that really comes as close as I can get to what I’m talking about.  But I’ve never let go in this way…it is definitely a process and I have a sense of moving but it is unchartered territory and so I can’t describe the landscape very well.

What I do know that keeps me going is that when I get flashes of feelings of joy and freedom and clarity I know without a doubt that I’m on the right track.  And so it is….today.

With Love from the Heatland, Connie

I just reread this and it sounds like ass to me and I shall write soon to sound at least more interesting…

July 17th, 2010: What is Going Right

I last wrote on Tuesday and I’m feeling like I’m in a streak of contrast.  Or, I’m just not feeling that great.  Abraham (see side panel) says they want us to adore contrast because without it there would be no growth and if we didn’t have growth there would be no eternity.  It is contrast that brings on our wanting and our wanting is our vibrational expansion.  So…

I’m attempting to become more friendly with contrast and not be a “hater”.  Resisting contrast just pours fertilizer on it.  The more you think about it, the more you do not like it, the bigger it gets.  The hamster wheel goes faster.  So, today I’m attempting to relax into it and let it be.  At the same time I’m looking at all of the things that are going right with my life.  Which is nearly everything else.  When I began to think about how much is going right it did give me pause. 

I mean I’m healthy, I have a great car, a great place to live, my air conditioning is working even if it is warm/hot outside, my bff dog, Dudie is well and attentive and ever my social lubricant, downtown Milwaukee has activities during the summer that I have enjoyed, I’m planning a road trip for early September which should be an amazing adventure, my relationships are going well, I even think I may have begun to lose some weight which I have been wanting for some time.  So, I think I will put more of my emphasis on what IS working rather than how I’m feeling.  Even writing this paragraph has shifted my energy..

I’m sometimes amazed at how quickly energy can shift and it doesn’t take a giant shift to change the whole landscape.  A wise friend told me once that you can think of any human system, singular or plural as a pin ball machine.  The old fashioned kind.  Tipping a pin ball machine just a bit can change the entire game.  I’ve seen it happen in relationships and I’ve seen it happen with myself.

I believe I will continue to focus on just how much is going well with me.  Even though the worrisome hamster wheel is pulling, I will stay focused on what feels better.  That rather sounds like a no brainer to me.  Duh.

Y’all have a good weekend and stay cool.  With Love, Connie