April 11, 20

6:24 p.m.

So I just was saying that we can’t blame anyone else for our own feelings. Period. Did I say that?? I did say that and I do believe it. And then I feel at times that I want to do physical damage to my partner or at least dole out a good dose of verbal abuse. Really let him have it!!

Then I take my dog buddy for a walk and can’t stop the tears from flowing because of extreme frustration with him and with myself for being so angry…because I’m supposed to know better, dammit!

And then I swear I heard the words in my head that I need to allow my tears because they are a release and I’m going to need them. And I do believe that those words come from the Higher Self in me finding air time through a crack in my tears.

Interestingly enough I had just asked for “help” from that Higher Self, the Big Me from mini me. And as my spiritual journey has evolved I’ve found that the help is there or eminent.

I need to honor the physical me and get off my own back. So if I can just allow myself to feel what I feel and sort of cover those feelings with a parallel feeling of the Love that is also the Source of my “Beingness”, I can return to a much better place.

And when I say “allow” those nasty feelings I mean let them be with all of the grit that I can draw upon of how I’m feeling. And then after mini me has had her say (and ONLY after she has had her say) I can conjure another vibrational frequency that is the Love of the Universe. Then a sort of alchemy happens where that amazing Love just settles over the self hate and the homicidal feelings as a blanket of comfort and I can feel the anger and sadness sort of melt as the Love becomes more dominant.

I was able to find that feeling of powerful love through meditation when you can find the stillness to let all thought go and then the Energy of Source can surface. It’s not difficult. It’s just takes the knowing that it’s there and practice.

I must say that finding that Love feels rather magical and is well worth the practice of letting go of our busy minds. But once you get a taste of what that Love feels like you will want it again and again. And the door to the reality of a whole non physical universe begins to open. That’s when it gets really juicy.

Next…an easy guide to meditation and resources.

Peace, Connie

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