February 16, 2011:  Coming Home has Benefits!

Home has benefits

I spend more and more of my time feeling great.  As Abraham (see side panel) would say I’m in the Vortex.  Eckhardt Tolle would say I’ve given up my “pain body”.  Whatever the words for it, I feel as if I’m home whenever I’m feeling this way and it is wonderful.  It’s the “original me” before I got pulled away from who I am and that was at a very early age…I’d say pre-toddler even.

I would describe myself as a highly sensitive person and it explains a lot looking back from this vantage point.  It explains why I was so sensitive to the people around me as a baby that I gave up my own path to “be” for others so young.

It explains why I had such a rough time in my 20’s when my feelings were overwhelming to me and I didn’t know how to cope with them other than adopting a mental health label which would haunt me at some level for the next 40 years.

I didn’t know then that my strong negative feelings about me and the world around me, were just my guidance telling me I was off track.  Period.  I was pinched off from my Source energy and didn’t know it and so I couldn’t get back home.  I just didn’t know and so I became labeled with an anxiety disorder.  Girl Interrupted.

So now that I’m learning how to fly my own plane, manage my energy, I have a feeling of freedom that is exhilarating to me.  From my loft downtown I can watch the gulls and geese fly by my windows and a part of me can project out and fly with them and that’s really a wild feeling!

And I’m deciding what I want and why I want it.  Abraham says we can do, be and have anything we desire.  We just need to come into alignment with ourselves, into the Vortex of our own creation.

Of course I know I’d like money to do whatever it is that I want to do.  Money equals freedom.  But to put the energy, the vibration in that wanting we need to ask why we want it.  Beyond freedom, what is it that we want and why? 

I imagine buying a car outright with no payments involved and I actually feel giddy.  That is the feeling that fuels the attraction of that to me.  The Law of Attraction says “that which is like unto itself is drawn.”  So if I can feel the vibration of what I want, it can come to me faster.  I needn’t know who, when or how.  If fact all of that just interferes with the pure desire.

All manifestation is thought first, thought vibration before it manifests.  So I can just feel good imagining what it is that I want, and, most importantly why I want it to give it the punch it needs and then chill out and watch everything I’ve wanted, my hearts desires, manifest.

Of course it is happening already and has been.  I’ve wanted to feel this good for as long as I can remember.  And the really neat part is that the better it gets the better it gets.  So I can look forward to endless feeling better.  And then I can expect everything else to fall in as well.  From my childhood that held a lot of spiritual abuse…Bible belt fundamentalism…I  remember,  “Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all else shall be added unto you.”  Sounds like Abraham but I didn’t know then that the kingdom of heaven was that home inside of me.

With Love, Connie

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