September 21, 2010:  Building Spiritual Muscle

Traveling alone and tenting in the great outdoors is a great way to build spiritual muscle…like feeling more confident that I can use negative emotions to practice being able to focus and turn them around to feeling connected to my Source in a way that feels good..i.e., joy.

Traveling is a potential hot bed of disappointment, frustration, apprehension, doubt, whatever your weak links traveling alone and tent camping brings them to the surface.  I haven’t stayed there long but I’ve had those moments.  I known I have helped myself a great deal by listening to and trusting my inner guidance.  That always is there.  Like “I don’t think I’ll make it to the Grand Canyon after all.  I spent more time in Wyoming than I had planned and I’m longing for trees and water.  Red/orange rock and no trees and more heat doesn’t feel that cozy now.”  And, coming out of the mountains on HY 139 to I70 I took a right to Grand Junction rather than a left to Moab, UT.  I feel a need to stop and collect myself rather than push and I do mean “push” into canyon country.

Now, having made that decision based on a feeling of guidance I’m planning to go to Grand Mesa National Forest and that feels just right to wind up this odyssey.  Even though I’d thought of seeing the Grand Canyon for months I just wasn’t feeling it now and decided, once again, that feeling good is the most important thing I can do for myself and when I act on what feels good, more good comes to me. I’m holed up in a wonderful hotel for two days, eating great food and talking to extremely helpful people.  That’s what it’s all about.  I’d rather feel good than see the Grand Canyon just now.

Spiritual muscle building also occurred at Sheeps Creek , Utah camping at Flaming Gorge.  I was tenting right beside Sheeps Creek where the salmon were running and it was a great experience just to sit and watch this amazing act of nature.  But then I had a feeling of lonliness for the first time on the trip, homesick but not for home…just feeling a bit isolated.  It was Sunday night and I was the only one in this campground and I wasn’t feeling all that great until I figured out that this was the first time I’d really been alone, alone.

So, I began to work with this to turn the feelings around and reconnect with Source.  All negative emotions are is an indicator that the physical me and the Source/energetic me are pinched off a bit.  So it’s not really about the being there alone but about my Source me not looking at the situation the same way the physical me is looking at the same situation.  This split results in a feeling of apprension for me.  Until….I remember what I just said.  It’s not really anything to be afraid of because it’s only a pinching off from Source and then I relaxed and know All Is Well and felt the connection again.  I had a great nights sleep and woke up still the only one in the camp ground.  I had briefly pondered getting my knife out and putting it beside the bed but then I figured that that would fuel my negative side so better not.

Being able to turn that particular situation around from feeling alone and isolated to cozy with Source really helped me feel that I had some muscle developing and I liked that a lot.

Tomorrow I’m off to Grand Mesa National Park for three days….or maybe four to wind up this amazing trip and begin heading homeward.

With Love from Grand Junction, CO, Connie

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