July 21, 2010:  Taking Shape

I have to admit the going has been bumpy for awhile and I was discouraged at times and I would put off writing…I just can’t talk about not feeling good because it causes more energy to be more focused there.  So, I’d rather stay silent rather than expand something that is not feeling good.        So…………

I truly have some knowing that within my energy/spirit some big time surrendering is going on.  I wish I could be more articulate about it but I can’t and that is perhaps why writing is rather difficult as well.  I absolutely know that I’m moving in a good direction and preparing for my walkabout road trip in early September.  I know I am moving positively and with a feeling of surrender.    So…………

Surrender of a sharpely conscious physical thinking self to a more spirit led self in the present moment..,..now even I don’t know what the hell that means.  But the feeling is one of putting my physical brain on the back burner, not out of commission by any means but just not in control and allowing something bigger to emerge to take charge.

AA has a saying “let go let God” and that really comes as close as I can get to what I’m talking about.  But I’ve never let go in this way…it is definitely a process and I have a sense of moving but it is unchartered territory and so I can’t describe the landscape very well.

What I do know that keeps me going is that when I get flashes of feelings of joy and freedom and clarity I know without a doubt that I’m on the right track.  And so it is….today.

With Love from the Heatland, Connie

I just reread this and it sounds like ass to me and I shall write soon to sound at least more interesting…

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