Vision Keeping

July 30, 2010:  Life is Good

I’m really happy to be able to say that life has been particularly good this week.  WOWEE ZOWEE.  Things have been changing right along and lately I’ve felt like I’ve been really close to feeling really good….like an itch that I can just barely scratch but I know I’m really close.

Tuesday in traffic I was on my way to a meeting and knowing the traffic would be slow left early…then I’m in single lane bumper to bumper stuff that stretches for blocks and blocks and through 5 lights.  Ouch.  I could feel my irritation rise.  And then I remembered, a voice in my head says “you are irritated because the Source within you doesn’t see this situation the way you are seeing it and your discomfort is the distance between how your Source is seeing it and the way your physical self is seeing it.”  Okay, yes, I’m with you so I know that I’m already asking for something better…I’m sending thought vibrations out asking for better traffic and so I “took the bounce” and expanded myself to the place of better traffic and closed the gap between the physical and the Source me.  And when I did that I felt great immediately.  I felt so good so fast that I got my own attention and understood in my bones the power of aligning my physical self and my Inner Being/Source self.  I hope this makes sense.  I know I’ve talked about this before and will be talking about it more.

Now I had done this before but I had not done it so resoundingly good.  The switch in my emotions from frutstrating to great was clear in a powerful way and I knew I had connected the dots in my mind and soul that I had not connected before.  EUREKA, Baby!!!  Power up.

The rest of the week just kept gaining steam but that’s for another time.

With Love, Connie

July 25th, 2010:  A New Lens

I have taken a few days off from writing.  The Universe seemed to cooperate as I had to create a new password to the dashboard of this website and then promptly lost it after being so sure I was placing it in a protected place!

I have added a new daily practice to my routine and I can’t say enough about how it has helped.  I was in the right place to try something new as I was saying that times were a bit bumpy this past week.  BUT, I’ve finally tried a new process that Abraham (see side panel) has suggested.  I’ve asked myself why I did not do this sooner and I think it’s just the way it is with practically everyone.  Change is hard.  I thought I had tried it and gave up too soon.  I can remember trying it and because it didn’t reap spectacular results immediately I said screw it!

I think energy change can be like taking an herbal “medicine”.  It’s more gentle on your system so you don’t always see the dramatic results as with chemicals but after a few days/weeks the change can be dramatic.  So c’mon what is it!   Out with it!

If you look back on this site over the past months I’ve mentioned that mornings have been difficult for me for awhile…how about several years.  Mornings have varied from being okay to being something so bad I didn’t want to go to sleep at night.  Abraham has said that you will wake up with the same energy with which you went to sleep.  Now I didn’t think I went to sleep that afraid but I was still waking up afraid so I wasn’t sold.  It made sense to me in my head but didn’t seem to fit my situation.  “Well, I went to bed last night feeling pretty good and I wake up feeling crappy.” 

But I did try it a few months back.  I got myself into a good feeling place before I went to sleep and when I woke up I couldn’t feel an obvious change so I thought,  “well, it might work for some people but God knows I’m not ‘some people’ so I’m just stuck with myself…screwed again.”  I think that’s how it went.

Then about a week ago I finished a really good book I’d been reading at night and began a new one.  The new one is John Irving’s Widow for One Year.  Now I love John Irving but I had forgotten how his characters can be very sexually mixed up along with being depressed…not a good combination and my mood in the morning dipped as well.  I didn’t want John Irving’s messed up sexuality and depression invading my space.  At the same time I listened to an Abraham tape where they urged a very crabby- in- the- morning mother  to shift her vibration before she went to bed the night before.

Okay, Universe, I hear you loud and clear.  I put John Irving down and picked up Three Cups of Tea.  At the same time I did a focus wheel after Three cups and brought myself into the Vortex or feeling really good before sleep.  The next morning I did feel a shift…not a huge one but there was something different and so I did it the next night and the next night and the next night.  Now I can absolutely say that I’m waking up in the morning very ready to get in the Vortex and knowing that it is close.  I also feel like I DID GOOD!   Pat, pat, pat.

And I’m taking this energy into the day!  I’m a believer.  Try it and be gentle with yourself!

With Love, Connie

July 21, 2010:  Taking Shape

I have to admit the going has been bumpy for awhile and I was discouraged at times and I would put off writing…I just can’t talk about not feeling good because it causes more energy to be more focused there.  So, I’d rather stay silent rather than expand something that is not feeling good.        So…………

I truly have some knowing that within my energy/spirit some big time surrendering is going on.  I wish I could be more articulate about it but I can’t and that is perhaps why writing is rather difficult as well.  I absolutely know that I’m moving in a good direction and preparing for my walkabout road trip in early September.  I know I am moving positively and with a feeling of surrender.    So…………

Surrender of a sharpely conscious physical thinking self to a more spirit led self in the present moment..,..now even I don’t know what the hell that means.  But the feeling is one of putting my physical brain on the back burner, not out of commission by any means but just not in control and allowing something bigger to emerge to take charge.

AA has a saying “let go let God” and that really comes as close as I can get to what I’m talking about.  But I’ve never let go in this way…it is definitely a process and I have a sense of moving but it is unchartered territory and so I can’t describe the landscape very well.

What I do know that keeps me going is that when I get flashes of feelings of joy and freedom and clarity I know without a doubt that I’m on the right track.  And so it is….today.

With Love from the Heatland, Connie

I just reread this and it sounds like ass to me and I shall write soon to sound at least more interesting…

July 17th, 2010: What is Going Right

I last wrote on Tuesday and I’m feeling like I’m in a streak of contrast.  Or, I’m just not feeling that great.  Abraham (see side panel) says they want us to adore contrast because without it there would be no growth and if we didn’t have growth there would be no eternity.  It is contrast that brings on our wanting and our wanting is our vibrational expansion.  So…

I’m attempting to become more friendly with contrast and not be a “hater”.  Resisting contrast just pours fertilizer on it.  The more you think about it, the more you do not like it, the bigger it gets.  The hamster wheel goes faster.  So, today I’m attempting to relax into it and let it be.  At the same time I’m looking at all of the things that are going right with my life.  Which is nearly everything else.  When I began to think about how much is going right it did give me pause. 

I mean I’m healthy, I have a great car, a great place to live, my air conditioning is working even if it is warm/hot outside, my bff dog, Dudie is well and attentive and ever my social lubricant, downtown Milwaukee has activities during the summer that I have enjoyed, I’m planning a road trip for early September which should be an amazing adventure, my relationships are going well, I even think I may have begun to lose some weight which I have been wanting for some time.  So, I think I will put more of my emphasis on what IS working rather than how I’m feeling.  Even writing this paragraph has shifted my energy..

I’m sometimes amazed at how quickly energy can shift and it doesn’t take a giant shift to change the whole landscape.  A wise friend told me once that you can think of any human system, singular or plural as a pin ball machine.  The old fashioned kind.  Tipping a pin ball machine just a bit can change the entire game.  I’ve seen it happen in relationships and I’ve seen it happen with myself.

I believe I will continue to focus on just how much is going well with me.  Even though the worrisome hamster wheel is pulling, I will stay focused on what feels better.  That rather sounds like a no brainer to me.  Duh.

Y’all have a good weekend and stay cool.  With Love, Connie

July 13, 2010:  Clarity in the Vortex

When our daughter was an infant I implemented probably my most important parenting policy.  I decided that I would make important parenting decisions only from a place of feeling good.  I would not make decisions from a place of guilt…like when to stop breast feeding, when to keep her in her own bed.  I would not make those decisions because I was wondering about what others would think or if I were a bad parent.  These decisions were too important to make from a place of neurotic guilt.  I was clear about that. 

That policy stuck with me and served us both well.  Now it helps me to stay clear of her stuggles to become an adult and keep my mouth shut knowing that she is an amazing spirit who will definitely find her way.

If only I could be as respectful to myself.  It is clear I need to implement that policy with myself.  For the past several days I have been in and out of my Vortex, that place of joy and well being.  (See Abraham on the side panel for wonderful Vortex information.)  I’m encouraged because I am feeling really good more of the time.  Compared with last year at this time….well there just isn’t any comparison.  

I’ve been wrestling with doubt about my future, i.e., will I really get what I’m wanting, will I have the money I need, will I have something to work at that brings me joy?  This is really a slippery slope and I’ve been focusing on not allowing those thoughts too much air time.  But knowing also that pushing against them is not a solution either I let myself really have some stored up tears.

As a side bar I can’t cry with the gusto I once had.  I’m amused to say that.  When I really go the to “ugly cry” as Oprah would say, something interal holds me from the inside and I break out into a yawn instead.  Now I know enough to know that it is my Inner Being “catching” me as it were.  I’ve grown enough that vibrationally I’m just not a match for that kind of crying out of self doubt.  It is as if my body will not allow me to betray myself.

So after I allowed some tears I did feel a bit soothed and this morning I woke and felt such clarity in the knowing that where I am in my process is just so perfect.  I’m doing such important work this summer with the continuing of letting go of old beliefs and replacing them with new ones.   And most of all focusing myself into ever better feeling places.

One thing I have decided is that it is just so stupid, really, to put much credibility in my doubts because when I’m in the Vortex, I have no doubts and know that all is well.  So I can cry to get past a bump knowing that it’s temporary and when I’m feeling better I will not be doubting.  It is like I did with my daughter…I will not make any stupid conclusions about my future when I’m simply not feeling well.  That’s crazy!  It sounds so simple and, well, duh, writing it down but it was an ah-Ha moment for me.

Just think of the hurt we can cause others when we say or do important things to them from a position of not feeling good that we would never do if we were feeling clear and loving and we blame the other for our feelings.  Talk about shooting yourself in the foot!

But it’s all good.  We can’t get it wrong and we will never get it done.  With Love, Connie

July 9th, 2010:  Expansion in the Heat

The heat goes on and on and on…I know if you live in searing heat in the summer 85 and humid isn’t a big deal.  Actually for many folks they are lovin’ it here.  Sweat and all.  Bring it!   But I haven’t adjusted yet and I just don’t feel at my best with water dripping down under my boobs and into my eyes.

However in my commitment to look at the positive and to create a positive reality for myself, focusing on the heat is not in my best interests.   I can consider the current weather as my contrasting condition and use it to expand.  Abraham (see side panel) says every time we see what we don’t want we automatically project what we do want into the Universe and we then can become what we are wanting which is essentially more than who we are in present time.  We can “take the bounce” and feel better or we can stay where we are complaining about the heat.  It’s our choice.  Become who we have become or be even more unhappy and blame it on the weather.

I  do not want external conditions to control how I feel.  If I think I have to control conditions to feel good I might as well strap on the carbine and the glocks and the hand grenades because I will never ever get external conditions to go my way.  It’s impossible to do and to try is just too much damn work.  The only thing I can control is how I feel and I’m getting better and better at feeling good.

So, the heat automatically puts into my mind what I’m wanting…how about 70 degrees and dry and partly cloudy…and that feels very good.  So, I take the expansion of what I’m wanting and feel good anyway.  And I get to say to myself…you’re getting pretty good at this!

Have a great weekend wherever you are.  Love, Connie

July 6, 2010:  Boosted Up

I don’t do well in heat.  I’m Northern European in my bones, I guess.  Milwaukee is having a heat wave…for us it’s hovering around 90 degrees and it is not a dry heat, know what I mean?  We’re talking the interior of a lung.  But in ever putting a positive twist on the situation it is a chance to not allow conditions to control my mood.  I experience the contrast, take the bounce and expand to that me in a good feeling place just cool as shit!  Works for me.

But I digress from my title…”Boosted up”.   The other evening I was doing my evening meditation and was thinking about how it would feel to get my heart’s desire…or a particular piece of my heart’s desire.  Doesn’t matter what it is but just the feeling of what that wouldbe like in present tense to actually have that experience.  And it/I felt wonderful.  I was as if something internal racheted up my base line feelings, amped everything inside up a discernible notch. 

Now, I’ve had that experience before when I imagine something wonderful in the present tense and feel the emotions that go with that.  But in this case, the emotions didn’t return to my previous base line.  They stayed up.  It was amazing…like breathing straight oxygen.  The next day was the same and I was feeling so good but a bit wobbly on my new legs that I stayed close to home to just integrate the new set point.

Now, it’s kind of like I used to feel when I was young walking into a “beauty parlor” and having a whip lash from the neutralizer from permanents hit me.  After awhile I didn’t notice it.  That’s kind of like it is now.  I’m still amped up but I’m pretty used to it.

I believe I’m preparing for what is to come.  In order to allow my heart’s desire to manifest my own vibration must match the vibration of what is coming.  I must get up to speed with the vibration of my wanting and my Source just gave me a boost.  I have to say that this does feel great.  Abraham (see side panel) talks about this a great deal.  Being happy on the way.  Enthusiastic on the way.   On the way to the receiving of that which you have ask.

I believe I will look back on this particular spring and summer as some of the most joyful days of my life.

Stay cool, people.  With Love, Connie

July 2, 2010:  No more figuring it out!

Sometimes your panties get in such a wad you just can’t sort it all out.  Guess what?  You don’t have too!  All you have to do is find a better feeling.  That’s all.  Remember all those feelings of being on this endless hamster wheel?  Monkey mind?  No more.  Just find a better feeling.

Now I’m from the old school where therapists always directed you to find out the why’s.  When did this start?  Why do you feel that way?   But Abraham (see side panel) says focusing attention on the problem does not bring a solution, it only gives more energy to the problem.  The more you go backwards in time to “look” at something the more energy you give it and the more you activate it in your now.

I’m not here to argue a point and I do believe there is a place for history but more and more I’m just wanting to feel better when I don’t and I don’t want to sort it out.  Feeling so good for awhile has left me really impatient when I don’t feel as good as I know I could that I don’t really want to put one ounce more into feeling crappy and so today I just reached for a better feeling thought.   Period.

A good way to do this is to go through the alphabet beginning with “a” and think of words that begin with “a” that feel good to you.  For me it would be allowing…acceptance… Abraham.  “B” would be basking…breathing…beautiful.   “C” could include create…calm…cinnamon roll.   And on and on.  I’ve done this at night when I’m falling asleep and I did it today driving home when I wasn’t feeling as good as I wanted to feel.

Saying the words slowly and getting the feeling of the words is the trick.  Allow those feelings to resonate in your body.  Meditation is another way to feel better fast if you are not handling heavy equipment.  Meditation is just an absense of thought so you can get your erasers out and breathe and focus on your breath or a sound or a word like “quiet” or “calm” and quiet, quiet, quiet until you feel more relaxed.

We CAN change the way we feel by focusing but most of us are lazy, sloppy focusers and we just haven’t learned how.  Not to worry.  It’s never too late to begin.  It does take practice but it also does get easier.   Remember, if you feel frustrated with trying to focus…you can continue to feel shitty and even feel justified…or you can focus.  It’s a choice.  Abraham says we are so free we can choose bondage.

Nelson Mandela freed himself while in prison doing the same thing.

Happy July 4th.  Love, Connie