June 22, 2010:  Drama at Walgreen’s

A plane going 500 miles an hour in the air is a wonderful ride.  Put that plane on the ground at the same speed and the ride isn’t so pleasant.  That’s Abraham’s (see side panel) description of someone whose energy is riding high and then they hit a bump.  The higher the ride the bigger the bump!  Well, I bumped.  God love Walgreen’s.

I was biking into Woodruff to go to Walgreen’s and get 2 prescriptions filled.  No big deal.  Except…the first half of my north woods retreat was passed.  Saturday was the halfway point and this was Sunday and now I’m feeling some baby negative feelings about going back to Milwaukee.  Abraham would call these negative feelings contrast.  They aren’t large but my mojo had been fucked with, definitely.  I really noticed my change in energy when I rode past a doe that had been hit by a car and was lying in the ditch thoroughly dead providing food for a large congregation of black flies.

When I saw the dear I wanted to weep.  Now that was a big clue to me that I was getting away from my good feeling Vortex.  Normally I can see road kill without feeling badly about the world and understand that there is no death but a transferring of energy from one focus point to another.  Not this time.  Help, I sense trouble but on to Walgreen’s.

I take my Rx’s to the pharmacy and the nice lady looks at them,  keys them into their computer and says that according to the Walgreen’s data base, I have had no insurance since December.   WHAT!  These are prescriptions I’ve had for years and I’ve been getting them every month.   And then I had flashbacks of a clusterfuck with Walgreens over a different prescription in the fall and all of that anger and helplessness came up.

I was hanging on and the nice lady said she would call the insurane company.  OK.  I paced the aisles, blinking back tears and telling myself that this didn’t warrant tears and I must be nuts and I created this situation because I didn’t clean up my Walgreen,s issues before this and they are evidently still brewing.  Then I’m called the the pharmacy.

The nice lady says the insurance company says my insurance ended in April.  There was nothing I could do at that point.  It was clearly incorrect.  I HAD gotten new cards in May and the new cards were EXACTLY front and back the same as the old ones.  I had to pay cash for the meds and deal with the insurance company when I return home.  I was beginning to cry behind my tough biker sunglasses.  I got my meds and with leather gloves in my back pocket and bad boy boots hitting the floor I walked out.

At my bike I experienced a sort of tsu nami of anguish and I thought I might faint or disolve.  I walked and I felt like a nut case and I let that go on for about one minute and then I did an intervention on myself.  Breathe, you have been through this before, all will be figured out when I get home.  Nothing horrible has happened.  It was just a major trigger of abandonment, helplessness, powerlessness.  That was past.  You are fine.  Take the scenic way home and not wear your helmet and let your brains breathe and feel better.

I began to feel better when I got to the produce department of the grocery store in St. Germaine.  Ah, produce.  It looked so lovely and healthy and I was thinking of dinner and that I would definitely get my bearings.  I was also more accepting of the fact that, yes, I was sailing very high and fast and hit a tree going 500 mph.

I was also seeing that I needed to clean up a Walgreen’s vibration that was clearly still lingering.  Actually the Walgreens vibration was connected to the health insurance vibration that was connected to my agency merger vibration which was connected to the loss of my former life vibration.  DAMN.  There is a lot of cleaning to do.  It becomes one of those global- the- world -sucks vibrations.

The antidote for this kind of thing for me is to find the positive aspects of the situation.  So I began lists of what was positive about Walgreens all the way back to leaving my job and the positive aspects of that.  The momnent I began this I also began to feel better and the better I began to feel the better I was able to feel and on and on.

I took the bounce that the contrast had offered and expanded into a new sense of well being.  I turned the corner towards home with a fresh knowing of the value of the bumps in my expansion and vowing to squeeze the juice of the learning that came from this and what would come again this week as I begin to transition energy into embracing the part of my life that is waiting for me.

God I love the North Woods.  With Love, Connie

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