Vision Keeping

April 23rd, 2010:  Keep the Faith

I saw a friend for lunch whom I had not seen for several weeks.  She remarked on how good I looked and how well I’m doing.  I am doing well. 

You know the most challenging thing for me is just to keep believing in what I’ve believed all during this writing…that I create my own reality and it’s not by doing anything special, it’s by knowing what I want and by feeling good and allowing the Universe to deliver it to me.  I don’t have to do anything but feel good in the knowing that All Is Well.

Because most of our culture believes that one must work hard to “achieve” what we want this hasn’t been an easy thing to do for me.  But I’ve learned and am learning so much that we don’t have to do anything and that life is supposed to be fun.  Also that when we ask it is given.   Now is the time of awakening, of remembering who we truly are, Source energy in physical bodies who came here to create and expand into new places and to have a good time doing it.

We will create what we believe.  Our beliefs are only things we keep telling ourselves over and over and our beliefs create our reality.

So for the past months I’ve been focusing on believing…believing that I’m worthy even without a job, believing that I can receive what I’m wanting by feeling better and better and that the Universe will bring me what I’m wanting when the time is right.  It always has and when I’m actually becoming more deliberate about it , why would it be any different now?

Not working in this culture is difficult.  It’s difficult to feel worthy and not be “doing”.  But I’m getting there.  Someone asked me the other day, “What are you doing?”  And for the first time in a long time I said “I’m having a good time waiting to see what will come up next?”  And I meant it.  Good for me.

I had an appointment with my accountant yesterday that I had not been exactly looking forward to.  I have been supporting myself since this past November when my golden parachute hit the ground.  But I found out that my portfolio had actually grown overall even with the payments to me for support.  Thanks, Universe.

Truly, All is Well.  With Love, Connie

April 22nd, 2010:  New Air

I believe I’ve shifted gears.  I’m getting used to new air.  In my last entry I was talking about riding new energy.  Well, it’s still there and with it I’m learning how to breathe new air.  I wake up and feel a lot of energy which, at other times, I would have been thrown off into the bushes and felt fear.

But now that I’m riding the crest of the wave I’m breathing more deeply and inhaling more air.  Years ago I was attending my first and only sweat lodge.  We were out in the woods in rural Wisconsin and by a river where a sweat lodge had been built on private land.  The first part of the evening was spent in gathering rather large stones and then building the fire hot enough to really may the stones glow red.  That takes awhile.  There was a lot of talk around the fire and since this was my first time I was nervous and was shrinking back from the fire because it was so hot.  The lodge leader kept telling me to breathe more deeply.  I didn’t do it but kept being bothered by the heat and moving back from the fire.  About the third time she told me she said it firmly, breathe deeply! 

I got the message and consciously began breathing deeply and the heat quit bothering me.  I was amazed.  I don’t know how that was.  Could it be that the energy within me equalized when I breathed more deeply and so I didn’t feel the heat?

I thought of that story when I felt so much energy inside me.  Breathe deeply.  It works.  I could absorb the anxiety and even myself and ride/steer myself solidly from within.

After finding these fresh energy legs I’ve been feeling good and also feeling like I’m ready for something to happen.  I waked Dudie (bff dog) yesterday afternoon and was telling myself that I think I was ready for something to happen.  About one hour later I went online and discovered that through Match.com someone had written me who actually seemed like a viable lead on my partner quest.  That blew me away.  Someone actually emailed ME.  I had been out there emailing guys from Alaska to Hawaii to Florida usually with no reply or a thanks, but no thanks.   (Oh, I did receive a nice email from a 28 year old lad who thought I was sexy but I thanked him for the boost and turned him down.)

But, I am ready and breathing and someone knocked on my door.  We shall see.  And now is where the breathing is REALLY important!

With Love, Connie