Vision Keeping

March 15^th, 2010:  Taking a Cruise Bounce

 ::Okay, so today I woke up and the self ass kicking began right away…don’t even wait for coffee or anything…just get on with the ass kicking.  Jesus!

 I was so frustrated I wanted to scream,  But I’ve been there and that wouldn’t help,  And I KNEW that the only way out was to focus myself elsewhere.

 Last night Jerry and Esther Hicks had left each cruise goer a gift of a notebook with “A list of Positive Aspects” at the top.  This is to help aid in lifting your vibration.  If you are irritated at a situation or a person, make a list of their positive aspects.  In this case the person who was driving me crazy was me. 

So I took the book and began writing sentence after sentence about why I liked my emotional self,  The exercise was successful and in the process I decided to write a not to Esther and Jerry and boldly request a meeting with Abraham. 

With that all accomplished I left the ship to explore Grand Turk.  It’s quite a small island, population 5, 800 and has lovely beaches.  I am so a beach person.  And then I got another case of the kick me’s.  OMG.  So, I figure this week will be an important week of focusing and acceptance of myself.  So, on the beach I focused myself into feeling good and was proud of myself for getting there.

Then back to my room and another kick me session.  I grabbed my Book of Positive Aspects and began to write thoughtfully again and it was a bit easier,  What I did was sense that I wanted to feel really good and with that wanting Source grants the request but I don’t take the bounce preferring to instead beat the drum of kicking my ass..  It’s just so familiar.and comfortable in a sick sort of way..

But I decided that I could expand myself to experience the excitement and joy of the cruise and if I fall I can take care of myself!  I know I’m not the only one who blocks good feeling energy from entering,   Sometimes I just don’t trust it.  But I refuse to have a crappy cruise so I’m going to do my part to enjoy it..

 Until I can write again.  Love, Connie

March 13^th, 2010:  Sail Away

This is the first full day of the cruise and also a full day of Abraham (see side panel)  Seeing Abraham in person is always a treat.  The energy in the room noticeably rises.

There are close to 700 people in the Abraham seminar.  This is the largest cruise attendance I’ve seen and we’re all over the ship.

Abraham begins a seminar by giving their schpeel  or their basic teachings about how we create our own reality.  Go to their website if you’re interested to order one of their books.  Ask and It is Given is probably my favorite and the most popular.  After they speak for about 30 minutes they just turn over the program for questions for the audience.  It’s in the questions that new ideas and ways of explanation are heard.

I loved the morning session and everyone left feeling really good.  We had a two hour break and I went on deck to enjoy the sun and to get lunch.  The day is beautiful and cool and the ocean and gentle rocking of the boat is really relaxing..

I was feeling a bit tired but the afternoon session began at 2:15 so I geared up for the afternoon.  Somewhere I tripped on myself and began to feel not so good.  I believe I was overtired and over stimulated from the trip with travel and time zones and excitement and it just came out in a basic anxiety reaction. 

Of course I did not want to weep in a room filled with high on life people and so I began flogging myself for crying.  That’s never a good idea, however.  My interest in the subject of tears just became more intense and the flogging worse.  I could not feel forward, take the fucking bounce or do anything I could think of to right myself.

 So we had a break and I found a friend, got some coffee and listened to the last session.  Then I came back to my beautiful stateroom and took a shower.  Always a good thing to do in times of stress.

 I know I’ve made great movement towards loving myself more and then, in the presence of Infinite Intelligence I k ick myself in the ass over and over again.  Perhaps I put Abraham in the context of a judgmental parent who would condemn my tears and less than perfect feelings…or better yet less than the perfect LACK of feelings in my parent’s case..

 We are sailing into Grand Turk tomorrow for the day.  No Abraham.  I’m glad.  I can regroup.

 You know what else just got to me…I looked like ass in my swimsuit.  Really depressed me.  Nothing like feeling like a whale when you’re on a cruise with food everywhere.  At least on a continuum I was on the thin side still overall.  A cruise is fat heaven.

 Love to all from the Caribbean:   Connie