February 11, 2010:  Contrast as Power

When she felt good she felt very very good but when she felt bad she felt horrid!  This could be subtitled, Memoir of a Bi-Polar.  Or just someone who feels things very deeply.  Since this is me I prefer the latter.

There were times when I cursed my sensitivity but I’m coming around to a re-frame because guess what?  I think I’m going to be stuck with me for some years to come so I had better figure out how to put myself in a better light or my ability to create the super duper reality that I want has the self hate brakes on.

Abraham (see side bar) calls negative feelings contrast and contrast is the stuff/energy with which we create.  It occurred to me that my sometimes negative feelings have great power behind them because when I’m feeling a painful reaction to something I don’t want I automatically shoot out bolt of energy to the universe stating what I do want. 

I’ve known this but there’s the knowing and the knowing.  Levels of knowing.  I’m beginning to appreciate the negative feelings I have for their creativity.  Whether I’m aware of it or not I’m creating when I don’t feel so hot.  I’m sending out “rockets of desire” that are asking to feel better, to feel stronger, to have whatever I want that was the offshoot of the frustration…etc.

So, I’m allowing the negative feelings more without beating on myself.  Now I don’t think I will never beat on myself again…after all it’s just too much fun.  But I will have the learning that the negative emotion is a good thing.  And now that I know that I can’t pretend that I don’t know it anymore.

With Love, Connie

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