Vision Keeping

     Life is supposed to be fun.  Oh, really.  Good lord, that did not come from my mother.  According to her dear fundamentalist prairie self too much fun was right up there with sinful and that of course means there must be sex involved somehow if only in thoughts or words.  But that’s enough!  It’s all sin and climb into the hand basket!

      Nevertheless, I survived her view, probably in so small measure due to my “sinful” father, and I absolutely believe that life is supposed to be fun and probably would be except for the fact that as babes we were systematically trained away from our natural joy and wonder at the world around us.  At a spirituality seminar, recently, a participant asked the presenter, “my child wants me to ask you why are grown-ups so grumpy?”  Now that’s a thought worth considering.

      There really aren’t that many grumpy kids around.  Grumpy old men. Grumpier old men.  But not grumpy toddlers or grumpy children.  We’ve lost our way, most of us…but hold that thought while I lay this in.

      I’m living through a major life transition.  At 62 I recently resigned as Executive Director of a non profit agency for women in the criminal justice system where I have spent the last 32 years of my life.  I left out of necessity – for my own spiritual health as well as for the agency’s financial well being.  Life for me had definitely NOT been fun for some time and the organization needed the support of a larger agency for long term survival.  Non profit mergers are the new thing in the industry for better or worse…but I digress.

     So, I’m 62, unemployed and definitely not wanting to retire.  Even if that were an option I think I would lose my mind.  My soul definitely says I have stuff left to do.

      And now I’m back to life is supposed to be fun.  For most of the past 32 years I have loved my job.  During those years I’ve honed my fundamental beliefs and this definitely includes the idea that we are creating the lives we live by our beliefs and thoughts and through the Law of Attraction (I put this in caps out of respect for the power this represents).

      Now I have this amazing opportunity which I have created, with the time and the resources, including financial resources and “my people”, to create what I hope will be the best part of my life.  I can live my beliefs and create out of my thoughts, intentions and inspired action the most amazing life possible.

      Sometimes I’m excited and really believe that this is going to happen. 
At other times I just feel scared stupid with the accompanying words and ugly face telling me, “You/re too old to do all that and you are not even clear what that is yet,  you’re too old to have the partner and forget the great sex you are imagining, plus where do you think all of this money you want is going to come from?”

      But, OUT OUT bad thoughts!  I’m blogging my way through the coming year to record my progress, focus my thoughts and intentions and, who knows, build some community along the way.

 With Love, Connie