Vision Keeping

June 13th, 2010:  “Up North”

I’m sitting on a large screened porch looking at the lake on a cool day.  Just saw two gaggles of baby ducks following the shoreline in search of delicacies for lunch.  My bff dog, Dudie is standing watch on the whole thing.  I swear to God he smiles a lot when we are up here.  He gets to roam wild like freedom seeking creature he is and goes to the door and races around and comes back triumphant to sit in Mom’s lap to get refueled for the next adventure.

With such a backdrop of serenity and beauty I was hoping ftofind my Vortex again and feeling more at one with the whole deal.  My energy went south several days ago after the best feeling time of my life, seriously, and that is maddening.  I want to throw a fit!  And then I hear Abraham (see side panel) in my ear telling me to make peace with where I am and to begin to appreciate the contrasting experiences in my life more.  Geeeez, I’m trying but…

Actually this morning while I was doing my focus work and journaling I received some guidance that encouraged me to go more deeply inside of me and to let go of externals a bit more.  It’s as if we are all looking at a play outside of us and the real deal is going on at a vibrational energetic level which is internal and much larger than what our physical eyes can manage.

I know I’ve been on the verge of stretching myself and taking the bounce from the contrast I was experiencing.  But there is some fear there…fear of letting go…letting go of what?  Letting go of externals to prop me up and taking the plunge for a deeper connection with my inner being.  Putting my complete faith and trust in my Source and not worrying about the details.  That’s it, of course.  And as I experienced such peace in the thought I was soothed too by the perfect timing of this trip.  Now that wasn’t an accident.  Coming up to God’s playground at the time when I most needed to slow down and be quiet, at one with All That Is.  It is no accident that I’ve arrived here just when my need to let go is greatest. 

It’s as if I’m hearing, go on, you can take the jump, look around you, I’m everywhere to catch you.  This is one of my favorite places in the world…along withFlorence, Venice, any Princess ship, and on and on.  But my soul feels at home here.  And I brought my motorcycle with me.  Picture me and my bff dog riding.  He even has little doggie goggles, called doggles.  Cute!

I’ll try to get a pic of Dudie and me riding on the site here.  And I’m glad I have this way to stay connected with you and focus my thoughts as well.  Thank you for your comments.  They mean the world to me.  So, I have this outward beauty to gaze upon and an inner reality to sink into more fully.  Both are beautiful. 

Signing off from the pine trees for now, with love, Connie

June 9, 2010:  Contrast Shmontrast

I have been allowing the flow of the Source within me to feeling contrast back and forth and back and forth and feeling very frustrated.  I’m also listening to Abraham as I write (see side panel) and they say that when feeling disappointed with myself I can just make peace with where I am.  It’s difficult to make peace with a place you’re not wanting to be.

I don’t like it and it is SO far away from feeling the energy of love that I REALLY don’t like it.  How so I make peace with this?  The answer seems to lie in my eyes and the release of tears.  I don’t want to cry, dammit.  I want to feel good.  But I also don’t want to beat up on myself either.  I don’t want to become the abusive parent.

It’s a warm day and my body sweats very easily these days.  That’s such an attractive quality.  Feeling about 15 pounds overweight, sweaty and weepy. 

I’ve been packing to go up north.  I believe that this going, this trip is a trigger for many feelings.  I love the north woods.  I love the smell of pine trees, the crystal clear water, the call of the loons, the bald eagles, and most of all the amazing quiet.  I can sit on the porch and watch the hummingbirds and just hear the breeze in the trees and the pounding of tiny wings.

But this year is different.  I’m different.  My family is different.  My daughter is not coming.  She has the opportunity to have the house to herself and would rather stay and enjoy her own solitude.  Also I think this may be the last year I go to this cottage for a number of reasons.  My life is changing and I’m letting go.  As I picture being in the cottage it is a bittersweet feeling.

But contrast calls me to take the expansion, take the bounce and expand to a new place.  I don’t seem to be ready to do that today, not at this hour.  Maybe in a few hours, maybe tomorrow.  Until then I will endeavor to give myself a break.  I know I will come into alignment again and when I do it will feel delicious.

And so it is.  With love, Connie

June 7, 2010:  Choose a Lens

I will be going to the north woods of Wisconsin on Saturday for 2 weeks.   It is something I look forward to from year to year and I was hoping that since I’ve been feeling so good that my time up there would be extra good this year.  But the skies of my heart were feeling partly cloudy about the whole thing…and I was not able to bat it away…until…I remembered that I can choose how I view any situation.  I can decide which lens to pick up and put on.  It’s so simple and so powerfully profound.

So, feeling the contrast of those partly cloudy skies, I picked up the opportunity and took the bounce.  In other words, by my feeling something that might get in the way of a really great time, I had already asked, vibrationally, for a wonderful time.  Ask and it is given.  So my wonderful time already exists vibrationally and the reason I’m feeling contrast is because I’m not lined up with what I’m wanting, so I can take the bounce and line up. 

How do I line up?  Well I’ll tell you.  I took the things I was particularly concerned about and made a list of positive aspects about each of them.  For example, I know that this may be the last time I go to this particular place and I felt sad about that and so I make a list of how that is a positive thing.  It’s positive because I’m changing and becoming more the person I want to be and something better will be going on.  I’m breaking into new territory.  Also, I’ve had to change north woods locations before and found another neat place that was better in many respects that the previous one.  Even the feeling of the “opportunity” to take a new bounce feels delicious, coming into alignment with who I truly an feels wonderful and on and on.  I did this with everything I was concerned about and ended up ready to have a great time.

It’s a choice but we forget that so often.  We are trained into believing that something other than ourselves has control over us…that there are others to blame for how we feel.  We are first told that by Mother who says that we need to make her happy by behaving in a way that is pleasing to her.  And so it goes.

So, we can become aware of the fact that we have a lens box with an infinite number of lenses in it that we can apply…or not.  It is a choice.

What a nice way to open a week knowing you have choice.   With Love, Connie

June 5, 2010:  Enjoying Contrast?  Shut Up!

Somewhere along the line contrast has gotten a bad rap.  You know what contrast is?  It is those inevitable things in our lives from people to events to whatever that cause us to experience negative emotion.   But without contrast we wouldn’t know from positive emotion.

It’s really not that uncommon for people to see contrast or “problems” as a failure of some sort so if something occurs that is unwanted we can feel defeated or unworthy.  But, hey, contrast is why we came here in the first place.  We sift through contrast to find out what it is we DO want and then if we can focus on that we can create it for ourselves.

But easier said than done, right?  I understood this intellectually for a long time but whenever I experienced some negative emotion I still didn’t like it and was relieved when it passed.  Abraham (see side panel) says that we can come to appreciate contrast for what it offers us.  Yeah, right.  That’s the way they open their seminars…asking the audience if they are enjoying the contrast they are experiencing….there is some uncomfortable laughter always.  Nobody is buying it.

I’ve had some of the best feeling days of my life in the past week.  The best way I can describe it is the feeling of freedom…of flying…of elation.  So yesterday I had lunch with a close friend and I shared with him how I had been feeling and a wee voice inside said…be careful, if you say it out loud it will go away.  And the seed was planted.

The rest of the day I had this cobweb over my mojo and it didn’t leave.  Rats…contrast.  And I knew where it had started but just tried to ignore it and maybe it will go away.

So, this morning I wake up and do my usual focus wheel to raise my vibration and I began thinking about yesterday and how I had experienced contrast because I wasn’t trusting myself on that deep level with my friend and then I knew I could just take the bounce so to speak and expand into the person that CAN share openly and lovingly because that’s who I really am….and I DID it.  Not only did I do it but in the process I was very aware that I would not be feeling so great again had it not been for the contrast.  I actually was appreciative of the contrast as I was feeling it.

Now that’s a first for me.  And granted it wasn’t the death of a child but it was contrast nevertheless and I embraced it.  So there!  I know this will take practice but I’m down for it.

With love, Connie

June 2, 2010:  Match?

I just have to talk a bit about Match.com.  What a riot!  As a reminder I promised myself that in building my new life I would only do what I’m inspired to do and not any shoulds.  If it is not coming from a place of feeling good, forget it.  Well, I did have a genuine inspiration to go on Match.  And it has been interesting. 

First it was this roller coaster kind of thing.  I see a guy and think maybe he’s the one and in the space of maybe one email I’ve totally imagined someone he’s obviously not because there are not more emails and I’m bummed.  I went through that a couple of times and thought this place is an emotional mine field!  It can trigger my male abandonment trauma really quickly and the pathetic part is I DON’T HAVE ANY IDEA WHO THESE IDIOTS ARE! 

But some of it is funny too.  Match sends you pictures every day of potential matches…like the guy with the sagging jowls and scrawny beard who has a helmet on his head with great horns coming out of the sides of the helmet and circling over the top.  I kid you not!  Then there was the guy who wrote me this long email about how great he was and CLEARLY English was not his first language.  That was rather amusing.  I turned his ass in.

I’ve gotten a lot of latino men after me.  I don’t know what it is…maybe because I checked in my profile that I could speak Spanish.  Now I’m not fluent but I can get around in a cab in Cozumel.  I think maybe a guy thinks I’m a compatriot or something.  I get these responses from “Emilio” and Enrique and I really like latino men but I really want to communicate primarily in English.  And while these guys all say they think honesty and good communication is at the top of their list of requirements, their responses say that they are leaving out some very important details.  I’ve had to just be amused at these as well.

And actually this has been a very good exercise for me…kind of like a seminar in dating without dating.  A kind of sticking your toes in the water and finding out what it feels like.  I have learned about checking myself emotionally and maintaining boundaries.  I’ve learned about holding my center even when I feel disappointed.  It’s really good preparation for the real thing.

And what I do know is that my partner is out there somewhere…I’ve created him and he is waiting for me as well.  I don’t have to look for him.  The Universe will bring him to me.  So if someone doesn’t return an email from me I clearly know “you’re not the One”.  And I’m totally sure of that because if he were the one he would reply.

So, it’s been a kind of hobby for me.  The dating game…literally…there is no reality, at least not yet.  I realize that I probably am not in the position quite yet to attract the man O my dreams.  I’ve got some leftover energy clean up to do.  But that is coming on nicely and whether or not my guy comes through the internet, it’s priming the pump so to speak.  I find myself looking over the meat everywhere but there always some woman with him.  But the best thing is I’ve aged well.  I look 10 years younger but the women I see with really good looking men have not worn well.  So, I’m so struttin’ my stuff, sayin’, “yeah, I got it…um hm…I got it.”

As I finish this I realize how far I’ve come since last fall when I was no where near ready to strut anything.  Thank you Louise and Abraham my teachers for help with creating what is looking like an amazing new life.  I feel like I’m really getting to the fun stuff now.

With Love, Connie

May 30th, 2010: The Sweat Lodge

The Sweat Lodge…what does that bring up in your mind?  In mine it was a rather awesome, mysterious, powerful, spiritual event where you had the chance to touch the ages, be led by  a shaman and reach a new level of being.  A being united with the past tribes of the prairie, of buffalo, of sweet grass, of the pipe. 

About four years ago this weekend I finally had the chance to do this…this long anticipated event.  I had a friend who knew a teacher who held sweat lodges every month.  I contacted this person and she invited me to participate in the sweat lodge.  It was to be held about 40 miles outside of Milwaukee on an organic farm I was familiar with.

On the appointed Saturday I showed up promply at 3 at the farm and we walked down to the sweat lodge area.  People would be joining us throughout the afternoon I learned, something I began to wish I had known as the day wore on. 

First we were to do what our leader called Karma Yoga..which was her way of saying we were going to work the land.  I was so nervous and I’m trying to make some connections with planting the trees that were brought and getting in the sweat lodge but I was game.  Hey where was the sweat lodge?  Oh, it’s over there.  It appeared to be this small circle house made of an understructure of some long logs bound together and covered with canvas.  It looked very small and very primitave.  Someone was mentioning about how it has just been rebuilt and I thought, I wonder what it looked like before but I was very game.

After working for an hour or so we went to the stream on  t he property to select the Grandfathers, the rocks, that would be used to heat the lodge.  Heating the rocks, I learned is a long process as they must be nearly glowing hot to be transferred to the lodge.    The Grandfathers were piled in the center of a large pit and a fire built around them.  Now it’s about 5:00.  I came for a sweat lodge and this is taking awhile but I’m game.

Now is the time of the firing up of the Grandfathers.  There were some prayers offered along with a language I was not familiar with…oh, by the way, I knew only two people out of about 30 people who showed up and I was one of 2 people of the European American persuasion…not that it matters…but I was feeling out of place a bit anyway because I didn’t know the drill and then I felt like I stuck out somewhat to boot.  The clueless white chick.

So we were supposed to feed the fire or offer gifts to the fire.  Now the leader had told me that but I didn’t especially know what to bring to feed the fire…what does the fire want?  The Milwaukee Journal or some oreos perhaps?  Are the Grandfathers into junk food or are they vegan?  I had no clue but everyone else did.  Everything from avacados to flowers to prayers on paper were offered to the fire with a lot of chanting. 

Meanwhile that fire was getting very Hot !  I don’t know how people were able to be anywhere near it.  The leader told me to breathe but I kept backing away until she related in her strong Black woman voice to BREATHE, and I did. Okay, okay, already.  But immediately I felt like I could handle the energy of the fire.  I think I needed more energy inside of me to counterbalance the Grandfathers who were crankin’.

Now  it is about 7:00 and we’re still stoking the Grandfathers and they don’t look anywhere near red and then I found out the next part of this gig was a sort of testamonial.  People would just get up and spill their guts about whatever was troubling them.  Now I’m all for that and I even have a clinical background but not Black Church back ground.  Look out White Girl, the heavy guns are commin’.   Now I had to remind myself that these people had histories with one another but I didn’t so when the shouting and the screaming and the crying started…yes, and the vomiting in the weeds too…I was a bit taken aback especially with children in the group.  But when are we going to get to the damn Sweat Lodge?  It’s 9:00 and I’ve been here since fucking 3:00 p.m.    People let’s get on with it.

So, finally the Grandfathers were red and ready to go…somehow the men got them transferred to the pit on a lever of logs on which they rolled down into the pit of the Sweat Lodge.  By then it was dark and I understood why nothing was going to happen until dark…it’s because now it’s time for everyone to get naked!

Yes, we all dropped trou and filed into the sweat lodge in single file.  At the door of the lodge the leader smudged us with sage to purify us and then we sat or lay on the dirt floor, onto which had been laid rugs.  Because there were so many people we were arranged in a tight spiral from the center of the fire going around and round until I was on the outside ring next to the canvas wall. 

I have to say that I’m a bit freaked now, I’m naked, hungry, weirded out a bit.  Shouldn’t there be an orientation for this, guys?  What’s going to happen next?  I had no clue.  I knew soon.  I did know something about the idea of dying and rebirth in the sweat  lodge.  The only think I could think of is that you get so fucking hot you WISH you were dead. And those Grandfathers did their job.  It was unfuckingbelievably hot in there.  I was purposefully placed on the side because it was less hot there but I wanted to stick my mouth down against the dirt in the crack between the ground and the canvas but I couldn’t quite manage it because my naked butt would have been in someone’s face.

Oh, Lordy, I guess it is death time…the screaming and moaning starts and it’s just too tight in there to have your own private space  to die in   We’re all going together in Jonestown fashion.  Let the dying begin.  No, I tell myself, I’m okay…I can last.  It’s just sweat, and besides if I sweat enough I won’t pee on myself.

Then, there was the final straw…I could see it coming.  At first I thought I was saved.  Our leader opened the canvas door and I could feel some cool air…yes, cool air.  Thank you, Jesus!  But then I noticed that in one ha nd she held a long dipper and was filling it with water.  Oh, God, she’s going to pour water on the Grandfathers and the heat is going to poach us in our own sweat!

That was it…I mustered up all my White Girl courage and said, “coming out, NOW”!  The bodies immediately parted and I made a run for it before the canvas door came down again.  Suddenly I’m outside….YES!  It’s dark and cool and there is still a small fire going so I could see….a  10 year old boy staring at me.  Oh, Well!  We were partners in desertion.  We bonded instantly.  No one had told me to bring a towel so I grabbed someone elses and dried off my sweat soaked body and looked around for my clothes. 

My new friend and I chatted as we dressed.  He was sweet.  But, as I got into my car and drove out onto the highway headed home I was so glad to be out of there and yet glad to have a tail of survival.  I was invited back again but I passed.  Thank you Grandfathers.

May 29th, 2010:  The Art of Allowing

You wouldn’t think that feeling good was something that you actually had to allow.  Like “allowing” tons of money or “allowing” a beautiful life partner, or “allowing” the child you have longed for.  The Art of Allowing would imply that it’s kind of tricky to allow good stuff when that just doesn’t seem logical but it is.

So, what is the opposite of allowing.  That would be resistence.  Because we live in an attraction based universe we receive what we are vibrating.  If we are worried about money we are not allowing it but are vibrating “no money, no money, no money, no money.”   And this is a resistent vibration.  It’s not in harmony with allowing money to flow. 

Remember the saying that the energy of the problem is different from the energy of the solution.  Same thing.  You can’t be talking about the problem and receive the solution.  They are on different wave lengths.  There is a common story about “allowing” yourself to be come pregnant.  I became pregnant at 37 and because it was a later pregnancy I was somewhat concerned.  Months came and went.  No baby.  So I decided I didn’t have to have a baby and thought of all of the benefits of not having a baby and presto I’m pregnant.

So, you can kind of get the idea of the Art of Allowing.  We are so driven by negative beliefs about how stingy the world is and how hard it is and how limited resources are it just is a challenge to re program to the idea of abundance.

Right now I’m definitely into the abundance of feeling good.  There is also no limit to how good one can feel there is always room for greater expansion.  We are expanding beings.  There is never a time when we will stop expanding.  That is the nature of life, expansion.  So, I’m trying to allow.  And even in saying that I’m exhibiting resistent energy.  One does not try to allow.  In the  trying there is the “pushing against” aspect that is resisting the allowing.

So, what do I do?  I allow the allowing.  I was just walking the dog.  My life has improved dramatically over the past two months and the past week the tremendously good feelings are just a bit elusive.  In my previous life I would have accepted this as “normal” but I’m getting greedy.  I want to feel better more of the time and know this is possible.  So as I’m walking my bff Dudie dog I’m allowing the allowing.  I’m breathing and with each breath I’m relaxing fully internally and letting myself see and experience the good feelings waiting for me.  It’s a visceral thing but I can feel the good feelings when I just relax into the allowing.  Relaxing into the allowing is a very good description of the process and as I do that I can feel my energy begin to rise.

But this is a practice.  A practice of relaxing into the allowing and a practice of allowing the good feelings to emerge.  It’s safe out here guys.  You can come out now.  No one’s going to yell at you or shame you or slap you or say you’re crazy.  You can come out now.  It’s okay.

It’s true we are afraid of feeling good, afraid of the good feelings and all of us have our own story about that.  It’s the same story as being afraid to be fully who we are, to be fully seen even by ourselves.

Memorial Day weekend is the perfect time to relax into allowing.  Allow the allowing.

Brave expansion someone in my Abrahamster Group called it last night.  Brave expansion.

Breathe on, With Love, Connie

May 26th, 2010:  No Other Gods

I remember so much Bible thumping from my growing up in Kansas.  From what I learned there were only a very few people that were NOT going to hell and those few people had one foot on a banana peel.  Some wise peace of me didn’t buy it and felt guilty for that but I thought even if I did buy it, the odds weren’t good even to be one of the very few.

From the 10 Commandments stuff I really didn’t get the “thou shalt have no other gods befoe me.”  What did that mean?  There were imposter gods out there?  Then from the Kansas thumpers I gathered it meant liking anything more that God.  To me,that meant anything from cheeseburgers to those silver machines in Las Vegas, the main terminal to hell.  And then that was confusing because from my kid point of view God wasn’t very likeble.  What had he ever done for me?  He certainly didn’t talk to me plus all I heard from the thumping was how disgusted he was with me.  I was a piece of crap just waiting for my turn in the hand basket.  How do I love someone who thinks I’m a worm?  That was in one of the hymns…something about “for such a worm as I” was in there.  I didn’t forget that one.

Needless to say I put that version of God down as soon as I had enough courage to say “no” to the whole deal, which wasn’t soon enough, and walk away.  Later I would find my own version and put that together piece by piece into something that made sense and nourished my soul rather than beat it to death.  I also discovered the concept of spiritual abuse which, of course, made total sense to me having been an abusee.

Now back to the no other gods thing.  Abraham says (see side panel) says that the most important relationship I have is between me and me.  That is between the physical me and the energetic, vibrational me, which is the bigger part of me, the God force part of me.  When these me’s are in agreement then I feel wonderful and when they don’t agree, I feel negative emotion. 

For example, if I feel badly because I’m not employed the reason I feel badly is because the bigger, God force part of me is not seeing me in the same light as the physical me has judged me.  We are not in agreement.  If I feel bad because I’m pissed off at someone who treated me badly then the physical me is not in agreement with the energetic me who sees whoever mistreated me in a different light that I am seeing that person.  We are not in agreement because the god force part of me does not love conditionally.   No other gods.

In other words, I cannot set up myself as anything other than a loving being and when I do I am not in alignment with my true self and I feel badly.  Furthermore, how I feel at any given time must matter more to me than anything else because that is my divine guidance.    Feeling as good as I can IS my work and if I allow anything else to become more important it is the same thing as putting other gods before me.  Actually I made that connection myself!  I finally get it.  And I venture Jesus would agree.  “The kingdom of God is within.”

That’s deep enought for one day.  I need a nap!  With Love, Connie

May 24th, 2010:  Trauma Trigger Oooops!

Ever been just gliding along in the sunshine and feeling fine with the world and then hit a really deep pot hole that you didn’t see coming?  BLAM!  Jarring as shit.  It’s not that it was that abrupt but I have been feeling totally amazing and then I wasn’t and was in that oh so familiar place of trying to keep my feet under me and slipping quite a bit.  Damn, that’s frustrating.  And even moreso when I know my energy is running fast so when I hit a hole it’s even more frustrating.

But, I know I’ll get back to my sweet place and I know that whatever is going on is coming perfectly in it’s own time to reveal something needed for me to work out more kinks in my energetic system and when I “take the bounce” that this is calling me to do I’ll feel even better.

This morning my guidance came.  It comes so often in the morning when my resistence is not up yet and I’m still waking up.   And my understanding comes in a flash of knowing.  It’s not as if Ihear words…I just get a block of thought that translates immediately.

The content of the knowing is not that important.  What does seem important is the fact that so much of what forms our early decisions about life on this planet comes when we have no language and so it translates as body feelings…visceral feelings.  We should really pay attention to what our bodies are “saying” and that’s tough in a culture that doesn’t value the mind body connection as central to our physical experience called life.

Receiving this knowing allowed me to trace the beginning of the crumby feelings and how they played out over the weekend.  Understanding the trigger and the resulting feelings helps me have confidence in myself and to even honor the whole thing.

We also live in a culture that does not give our emotional selves the importance that it is due.  It is our emotions, a result of our thoughts that tell us if we’re on track or not…it is our guidance from the part of us that is Source energy, God energy if you will.  We came here knowing we would have this guidance to help us navigate through this life.  When we feel good, we and our Source are one.  When we feel negative energy we have become pinched off a bit from our Source energy.  We can never become separated from Source but feeling pinched off is bad enough especially when felling aligned with Source feels so great!

For me it is like following the breadcrumbs home.  I can trace my feelings and thoughts back to where I began feeling pinched off and then change the vibration of the trigger.  If the trigger was an important male sort of person not calling you back when you were excited and rather expecting it (get the picture?) then I need to make peace with that person in my mind in heart. 

There are several ways to do that.  First, forgive myself for having a strong reaction.  Honor the trigger and its roots.  Then actually offer some appreciation for the event/person involved.  That appreciation for me might include becoming more loving towards myself, appreciative to the practice I’m getting finding  my way back to my Vortex of creation.  Being able to leave and come back knowing that the contrasting experience I went through helped me evolve into a more expanded self.

Once that is done, and it may take some time and maybe not, but then I can go back to feeling forward into the possibilities ahead of me and getting back into feeling at one with my Source again.

I want to get back there soon, I’m halfway there, so I can write about the Women’s Motorcycle Riders weekend in Milwaukee this past weekend.  What an amazing event!

Happy Monday, With Love, Connie

May 21st, 2010:  My 100th Entry – A New Paradigm

This is it!  100 entries today.  And I think it deserves celebrating on my part.  Celebrating a new way of looking at life.  Paradigm shift is a bit dramatic but there is a bit of that.  I’ve certainly shifted the way I look at my life.    My perception of what is real has changed.

In my journey toward feeling very much better I’ve discovered two realities…the tangible reality we all see with our eyes and touch and smell and taste and worry about and enjoy.  And the intangible reality.  Abraham (see side panel) calls this intangible reality the Vortex of Creation where all of our dreams await our energetic alignment in order to manifest.  The better we feel we can allow what we have put in our Vortex of creation to emerge. 

The smallest particle of matter is thought.  This is becoming old news.  Thought is energy and all things are energy/thought before they manifest.   Now this is immensely huge and what I have come to embrace which has allowed me ultimate freedom and feeling much more joyful.  Our current in your face reality is really past tense in larger terms.  It has already manifested.   The real current reality is what is pulsing in your Vortex of Creation, where everything you want is waiting for you.  Waiting for you to align the way you are feeling, your current vibration, with the energy of your dreams.  I like that reality and have come to place my focus and faith in that reality because that is, in fact, the real reality, if you will.

What do you feel like when you think of having your heart’s desire?  What is your heart’s desire… a life partner, perfect health, your dream house, a ton of money, endless travel, a job that brings you joy?  When you think of having it how does that feel?  Get a sense of that feeling in your body.  It feels good, doesn’t it, sometimes like joy?  So, when you match your energy to the energy of your Vortex you are allowing what is in your Vortex to manifest.

Abraham laughs and says we want what we want because we think in the having of it we will feel better.  They say that the trick of getting what you want is to feel better first and then it will manifest.  They report that a lady once said to them that she didn’t think that Abraham really cared whether or not her lover came, they just wanted her to feel better.  And they said right you are!  Because when you feel good your lover MUST come.

Speaking of lovers coming I mentioned some time ago that I got a strong wonderful impulse to enroll in Match.com.  I promised myself I would only do what I felt inspired to do and this was one of those things.  Well, minimally I’ve had fun with it.  I wasn’t expecting anything to come of it but there’s always the possiblity.  In the past month I’ve been feeling better than I have in memory, and maintaining myself more in the Vortex which has been an amazing feeling.  I got a “hit” on Match that looks promising and…time will tell but I note that it took the feeling better to come first.

Feeling better has also allowed new ideas to emerge about my future.  I’m taking a road trip to the Grand Canyon in September.  I’ve always wanted to go and I felt inspired to make plans.  The better it gets the better it gets.  I trust that living in the Vortex as much as possible will bring me better possibilities and results than I can dream up on my own.

To the Vortex!  Love, Connie