Vision Keeping

I was sitting outside of a coffee shop this morning and beginning to write my first draft to the blog in about two years. It was time. You know, you may get this feeling in your gut that it’s just TIME. And when I feel that I can have the energy to write.

So I did and completed an entire draft and mailed it to myself at home so I could put it here. Yet when I came home it had just vanished. I thought it just needed some time to get here so I took a nap…a very good idea for anyone. If everyone took a daily nap the world would look much better, I think.

So after my nap I began to look for the draft to post and it just was not there. My mail was sent but the content was not there. I did everything I could think of to bring it to life but it was just G.O.N.E. Gone. Oh, shit! My wonderful words gone. Then another thought entered. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing is random. So what if that wasn’t the draft that was needed now. Maybe my title, “It’s time” has to do with something more needed.

And I began to think of our world today and how upsetting it can be to so many people. Everything seems so unstable. The VIRUS has entered our lives. We have a fascist president who can be very scary to many of us not just here in the US but it seems like this kind of thing is rearing it’s ugly head in other countries as well.

So, It’s Time. Time for what? Time to think about what this great stirring can bring us in a very good way. I wrote earlier that we create what we are thinking about and when our president was elected and my friends were depressed and drinking, I was thinking about that Chinese saying about crisis also bringing opportunity. And then the pandemic. More opportunity. And then the endless killings of Black men and women at the hand of police.

Yes, it definitely IS TIME! And I see it and I’m feeling it all around me. People coming together. More families having time to spend together. More fathers and children in the parks. More of a spirit of helpfulness, of community, of love rising from all the anger, and I’m sticking to this one because it resonates within me as true. Yes, other things that are happening are true as well but the power of Love is so much bigger and stronger it will eventually win as so many people are more and more wanting the same things that we all want. We want peace. We want harmony. We want to live in loving communities that can come together.

Most of us are weary of divisiveness, blaming, name calling, anger. We want a stop to that and when enough people want a stop to it, it begins to happen, Now you can feel it too, I hope, if you think about it. Many people are too skeptical to believe that something really good is coming out of all of this. Even with everything in the US pointing towards a new president people are still skeptical that it will happen. And it’s not an impossibility yet such a stirring up will allow the best of us all to meet the challenge and isn’t that what we all want to see? The best of ALL of us. The “WE CAN DO IT” thing that has gotten us all through the grim times all over the world.

Because I know that what we think about so we create, I choose not to watch the news, watch uplifting movies, love my dog, send love to people through my mask on the street, help whenever I can to put a smile on someone’s face. The Beatles had it. Love is all you need. It is powerful beyond measure. It’s what created all of us. It’s the air we breathe and the energy that keeps our planets in perfect orbit. Nothing is random.

And it’s not about an instant miracle but a moving towards something better. Always moving towards something better. Love each other. Keep the faith. In crisis comes opportunity and what an opportunity we have now and we can feel it and meet it with Love.

January 17, 2018

I can’t believe it has been 7 years since my last writing and so much has happened. What I most want to share is I’m learning to follow my gut and that hasn’t always been easy or even tolerated by me.

You know you have this impulse to do something and then talk yourself out of it. Or you want to call someone and decide it’s not a good time. Or you want to want to do something that seems to come out of nowhere and you ignore that thinking “now where did that come from.”

Well I’m learning that “where it comes from” is the bigger part of me, my higher self, the Force, whatever you call something greater than yourself. And I purposefully do not use the word God because it brings up so many contrasting energies for many of us.

So now when I have an impulse I follow it thinking “I’m not quite sure why I’m doing this but I’ll find out sooner or later and probably sooner.

Example: Two nights ago I woke up at six in the morning. Now my normal time is anywhere from 7 to 9 but at 6 a.m. although I was still sleep and had this underlying energy to wake up. So remembering to follow my gut I did wake up.

Every morning I journal. I love to write and for me this is a way to clear my head, connect with my own Inner Being, and feel good to start my day. It was still dark at 6 a.m. and I was sleepy but remembering to follow my gut I got my journal and began writing.

And truly I do not remember the timing or the context of my thoughts but I had the thought of this blog and writing again and when that thought came to me I felt this great energy inside and as I continued to write I decided I wanted to get at the keyboard again.

Also I learned why I’d gotten this idea at 6 a.m. Having an idea in the dark when I’m writing intimately I can allow feelings and a sense of follow through that I may not have when I get busy during the day. Actually I had been thinking about the blog but nothing that said “GO, LET’S DO THIS THING.”

And so here I am, ready and feeling energized by the writing again. So, the next time you have an impulse try following it and see what happens. It could be an affirmation to you that there is more than what we can perceive through our senses that is going on in this world.

Sending Love Out To You

Telling a New Story

March 20, 2011:  If You Don’t Like It, Tell a Different Story

For the past month I’ve felt really non verbal…the words just weren’t there…all’s right in my world but the words seem to evade me.

This is my Law of Attraction story.  My journey into living what I believe, walking the talk, putting my life on the line.  Whatever.  I believe that we create our own realities whether by default or on purpose and this is definitely my time for “on purpose.”

We are vibrational beings and the Law of Attraction states that all like unto itself is drawn…like attracts like.  We attract what we are emitting vibrationally.  If we are broadcasgting at 89 FM we can’t receive what is 1130 AM or even what is on 95 FM.  Likewise if we are primarily a negative person we will notice and attract the negative to us.  When I’m feeling good, I hit the green lights, avoid traffic jams, get the fast check out lane, the nice person to talk with in the park.

In my non verbal phase recently I found myself reaching down into very young pre- verbal memories, memories that expressed in my body, i.e. nausea, back pain, tension.  I was able to put words to much of it and release more negative energy until I felt myself sitting on what felt like bedrock.  The beginning.

I had the distinct feeling that I was beginning again and this time I want to tell a different story.

I got a brand new journal out and began writing my new story.  In my new and True Story I am excited about being alive, I’m feeling loved and know that I am Source Energy capable of having anything that I want to do be or have.  In my True Story I know that abundance of every kind surrounds me and I can feel what that is like.  I can feel the love, the support, the resources I need to accomplish anything I wish.  In my New True Story I know that what I want will come to me without effort on my part and I only need do that which I am wanting to do.  In my True Story I know I came here to have fun and to create, not to prove anything or save anyone or anything..

When I become anxious I open my new story book and switch the anxious feeling to something that not only feels better but that which is True.  Like I was walking the dog one evening and I was feeling rather lonely and tears came.  But then I thought of my new True Story and remembered that I am never alone, that my Source is always with me along with helpers of some sort whose presence I can feel as well.  And I write that in my book and know it and feel better.

As contrast comes up I write the True Story and it is becoming a powerful resource for me.  Louise Hay (see side panel) says “change your beliefs and you change your life.”  God is she ever right.

With Appreciation, Connie

March 5, 2011

It’s not that nothing has happened in my life since I last wrote.  I simply do not feel inspired to write.  Why, because there hasn’t been anything that I feel inspired to write about.  It’s not that nothing has happened.  I  guess it’s just that nothing that feels worthy of interest to anyone but me.  HHHmmmm…,

But then I’m writing this for me anyway and do I not want to not care diddly squat about what others may think of me?  Yes, that’s a good thing.   And don’t I know that my path is unique?  Unlike that of anyone else. 

Each of us has a path different from that of anyone else in the world.  Oh, it may look similar in many aspects, but no one knows what it is to be like you but you.  No one else has your particular chemistry, point of observation, genes, experiences, relationships, feelings but you.

It is as if all of us are traveling in our own private universes and touching others but never fully overlapping.  We have our own separate paths as well and they could be so much more stunning if we had not been so taught to conform.  We say “just be yourself” but that means as long as you don’t look too different from everyone else.

Isn’t it true that most of us fear people and places that look different from us?  The boogie man we imagine certainly doesn’t look like us and yet the people that hurt us the most…I’m talking everything from physical, emotional, and sexual abuse and murder…are the people that are the most familiar to us.  Think about that.

And so I return to my own unique path.  And I want to be able to fully embrace that no matter what it looks like…even when I’m not inspired to write about it because nothing is hitting the charts enough to share….or so I imagine.

I’m growing myself every day.  I’m experiencing my own expansion sometimes in ways that feel miraculous but that is not something I can begin to put into words.

And those two sentences say it all.  That is my path right now.  I’m continuing to manifest me in a way that is particular to me.  No one else could have my experience,.  No one.  And that feeds me,

We each have our own voice and unique contributions and we bang around together in this wonderful experience called life.

With love, Connie

February 21, 2011:  Manifesting Me

Milwaukee has been enjoying another winter storm for the past two days and it appears that it will continue.  I have been in my loft mostly for the past two days and feeling life is good, watching the snow from my 8^th floor window, snuggling on the couch with my Dudie dog, watching movies, listening to Abraham (see side panel), cooking.  And, most importantly, feeling great consistently.  I’m content, feeling eager for things to come, imagining what I may be doing in the future, focusing my energy to even higher frequencies.

I could not have been in this space even a few weeks ago.  I would have been too antsy to just “be”, too anxious to not “do”.  Life just keeps getting better and the really great thing is that there is no end to feeling better.  That is the eternal nature of who we are.  We are all constantly expanding and the expansion does not stop.

There was a time when I was wanting to manifest “things.”  I’ll know I’ve really done something when I have the place to live I want.  I’ll know I’ve really gotten this Abraham stuff down when I have all the money I want in the bank.

And then I realized that I am where I want to be.  I’m riding the river of life and what I am manifesting is me!     I can feel myself expanding daily with thoughts and ideas that are inspiring.  That’s the most important thing that I can do is to manifest me.  And then, to enjoy my physical manifestations from the point of feeling aligned with my Source is the best ever!   It’s satisfying in the best sense.  Things don’t fill the void.  Feeling good without the things fills the void and I have control over that.

We want things because we think we will feel better in the having of them.  But that feeling is not sustained from things.  That’s why the having of things can become an addiction.  We have to have more to keep feeling good.

What we are wanting is to feel whole and aligned with our Source.  And when we have that, then the things are frosting on the cake and I love frosting.

With Love, Connie

February 16, 2011:  Coming Home has Benefits!

Home has benefits

I spend more and more of my time feeling great.  As Abraham (see side panel) would say I’m in the Vortex.  Eckhardt Tolle would say I’ve given up my “pain body”.  Whatever the words for it, I feel as if I’m home whenever I’m feeling this way and it is wonderful.  It’s the “original me” before I got pulled away from who I am and that was at a very early age…I’d say pre-toddler even.

I would describe myself as a highly sensitive person and it explains a lot looking back from this vantage point.  It explains why I was so sensitive to the people around me as a baby that I gave up my own path to “be” for others so young.

It explains why I had such a rough time in my 20’s when my feelings were overwhelming to me and I didn’t know how to cope with them other than adopting a mental health label which would haunt me at some level for the next 40 years.

I didn’t know then that my strong negative feelings about me and the world around me, were just my guidance telling me I was off track.  Period.  I was pinched off from my Source energy and didn’t know it and so I couldn’t get back home.  I just didn’t know and so I became labeled with an anxiety disorder.  Girl Interrupted.

So now that I’m learning how to fly my own plane, manage my energy, I have a feeling of freedom that is exhilarating to me.  From my loft downtown I can watch the gulls and geese fly by my windows and a part of me can project out and fly with them and that’s really a wild feeling!

And I’m deciding what I want and why I want it.  Abraham says we can do, be and have anything we desire.  We just need to come into alignment with ourselves, into the Vortex of our own creation.

Of course I know I’d like money to do whatever it is that I want to do.  Money equals freedom.  But to put the energy, the vibration in that wanting we need to ask why we want it.  Beyond freedom, what is it that we want and why? 

I imagine buying a car outright with no payments involved and I actually feel giddy.  That is the feeling that fuels the attraction of that to me.  The Law of Attraction says “that which is like unto itself is drawn.”  So if I can feel the vibration of what I want, it can come to me faster.  I needn’t know who, when or how.  If fact all of that just interferes with the pure desire.

All manifestation is thought first, thought vibration before it manifests.  So I can just feel good imagining what it is that I want, and, most importantly why I want it to give it the punch it needs and then chill out and watch everything I’ve wanted, my hearts desires, manifest.

Of course it is happening already and has been.  I’ve wanted to feel this good for as long as I can remember.  And the really neat part is that the better it gets the better it gets.  So I can look forward to endless feeling better.  And then I can expect everything else to fall in as well.  From my childhood that held a lot of spiritual abuse…Bible belt fundamentalism…I  remember,  “Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all else shall be added unto you.”  Sounds like Abraham but I didn’t know then that the kingdom of heaven was that home inside of me.

With Love, Connie

February 9, 2011:   What I thought I was waiting for is Now                  

I’ve heard all the slogans, seen the movie…a guy spends the better part of his life looking for his purpose and finally realizes he has been living his purpose all along.  So, I’ve heard it, knew it in my head but just didn’t think it applied to me.

And in some ways it didn’t…but that was when I had a career I was enjoying and proud of.  For the past two years, without my publically stamped credibility, I’ve considered myself waiting for the next thing.

And for awhile that was enough.  I was not ready for the next thing.  Waiting was needed until I felt “ready”.  But when I do feel ready then what do I do to legitimize myself?  Waiting doesn’t get it any more.  My self esteem gets wobbly.  I begin to doubt my beliefs.

And then I’ve come to realize, especially over the past several days that there is an accelerated awakening going on in me.

Without the distraction of the external world and with the cocoon of winter around me I’m stuck with me.  And even with episodes of anxiety and tears I’ve decided it’s a good thing to be stuck with me.  I’m experiencing a deepening to my connection with Source and a stronger commitment to accept myself and my emotional guidance because that’s all I have.  And it’s good enough.  And it’s all I have.

And as I go deeper and experience myself as truly a vibrational being and truly Source energy in a way I have not experienced before, I know that I’m not waiting. 

I feel the current of life, a momentum moving me, and I know that this is the ride I was meant to have.  I am doing it.  I’m living my life.  I’m not waiting.  I’m there.  I couldn’t be more there.

With Love, Connie

January 26^th, 2011:  The Rubber Hits the Road

I’m throwing a tantrum.  I’m pissed off and want to yell fuck you at a lot of things and as I’m throwing my tantrum I realize that it is better than feeling victimized which was an old worn out overcoat that was very easy to slip into and wallow in.  I looked at what I previously wrote and realize what a difference a day makes.  I could lift myself out then, I can’t now.  And that pisses me off.

Abraham (see side panel) says that revenge is a better place to be in than depression…I get such satisfaction in seeing all of the health insurance folks hanging by their thumbs and begging my forgiveness and I just say, “you’ve got to be kidding me,” and walking way, putting them on hold….pun intended.

But the tantrum feels not good, and I’m angry that I’m feeling this way as well.  The only thing that soothes me in some way and it isn’t a lot but it will do, is that I know that what I’m going through is important and, in fact, I could see it coming.

I got back from my magnificent cruise to New Zealand and the fumes of that cruise kept me aloft for several days last week after my return.

It’s been nearly two years since my departure from my career as a non profit exec…a departure which left me on the matt for some time.  Now I recognized for some time that I was not prepared to return to any kind of work.  And, more that that, I wanted my next arena of work to be one that was inspired from within and something that would just ring my chimes.  And, in fact, I have had the feeling now and again, that this chapter of my life is going to be the best yet.  I knew it might take a year or two to really feel ready for something new and while I have wrestled with my own expectation that “I should be working” I knew underneath that I was not ready…and besides I had stuff to do.

I began a blog, I was learning and growing so much internally, I was taking cruises with Abraham and took my own personal walk about last fall.

But now it feels like the rubber is hitting the road.  I’m back from my latest adventure, its 2011 and nearly two years since my goodbye to a passionate mission.  I’m feeling ready.  I want to do something.  But the Universe must have a different time table because what I thought was going to play out is not moving.

I’m in limbo and it has come down to that question of being okay with me…alright more than okay.  Can I be loving of myself and feeling good about me when I don’t have the “doing” to define me and give me a sense of worthiness?

About an hour ago I was outside walking my wonderful dog/friend and this big man was coming into my building looking troubled.  He was lost and was also appearing to be a bit intellectually challenged.  I talked with him, gave him the directions I thought he needed and off he went.  I was still outside when he approached me on the sidewalk.  His face just glowed and he waved a piece of paper at me and said he had found what he was looking for and thanked me profusely.  I felt the tears on my cheeks dripping down my face.  His appreciation touched me but more than that…I felt useful and thought to myself how badly I need to justify my right to BE.

Okay, okay, it does feel good to help but I cannot define myself by that.  I don’t have to prove my worthiness. 

I am worthy because I exist, because I am God force in a physical body and until I accept that I am perfect just the way I am I will truly never get to where I want to go.  And I want to GO big time.  I want my own personal Super Bowl.  (Yea, Packers.)

So, as I watch me going through this very tough time, watch the tantrum, the tears, the grief, the whatever it is that I’m going through I think that it’s a good thing.  Not only a good thing but a gift I give to myself or that Source gives to me to get me to an even better place.  I’ll let you know.

With Love, Connie

I seriously want to move to New Zealand!  The minute I stepped off the plane in Auckland I felt the pull.   I’m back in Milwaukee now and was flying high on fumes from a wonderful cruise in New Zealand, a jaw dropping experience with Abraham (see side panel) and armed with new desires and choices.

I’m in limbo today and I don’t like it.  That space between wonderful and what’s next without a clue.  On top of that the “wonderful”  included summer in New Zealand and it’s bitter winter in Milwaukee and I’m watching the snowflakes travel horizontally past my window.

When I get in a space I don’t like I return to what I know for sure.  What I do know is that this so called “reality” which includes the horizontally travelling snow flakes is actually past tense.  I must keep remembering that.  Everything is vibration before it manifests.  Everything is thought first.  In fact thought is the smallest particle of matter.  (I really encourage a trip to What the Bleep do We Know in either movie or book form to get your brains around that.)  When thought manifests into form as in the “reality” around you it is your past tense.  

What is truly present tense is in your Vortex of creation…that place where your Source energy resides.  We are primarily vibrational, Source energy and a piece of us is focused here in physical reality yet the larger part of us is that Source/God force energy.  Abraham says that humans have “what-is-itis”.  We are so wedded to what we are seeing, touching, tasting and smelling that we become distracted from who we really are, Source Energy in physical bodies.

So, when I come back to Milwaukee after a literally mind/life altering experience I get too wrapped up in what is and forget that I am Source Energy and most of me is not concerned with Milwaukee but is living in my creative real time or my Vortex of creation.  That is the place where I’m wanting to go, where, through a lifetime of knowing what I DO want by discovering what I DON”T want I have collected and amassed an abundance of what it is that I’m wanting.  For those desires to manifest I must become a vibrational match to everything I’ve put there which, in the here and now translates into feeling very VERY good about who I am and where I’m going.  It means getting in touch with the God Force that I am.

So, my work today is to lift myself vibrationally out of the Milwaukee reality around me and lift myself to that Connie who is much bigger than what is around me and feel myself, take the emotional journey to who I really am and where all that I have lived has amassed for me.  I am THAT Connie first and foremost, and when the cruise is over, when the external excitement fades, that is the time to remind myself to who I really am.

And that is a very good thing.  In fact to be able to feel good and not have how I’m feeling dependent on what or who is around me is my goal.  Becasue when  I can truly get there, everything else  I want  follows as well.  It’s the Law of Attraction.  When I am a match to what it is I’m wanting it has to come.  It is Law.

And when I DO remember who I am, it is such a high, and I’m getting a glimpse of it as I’m writing.  When I feel that high, the gap closes between my physical self and my Source self.   And I feel at one with Source.  That high feeling is why we came.   To be in physical bodies and yet feel the Source energy that we truly are.   It’s creating at its best!  It is truly who we are.

I want to thank all readers for your kind comments.  They are a boost to me when I need it and  feel really, really good.  Cheers, Mates!

With Love, Connie

January 5^th, 2011:  The Energy of Abraham

I’m happily writing from the Diamond Princess somewhere off the coast of New Zealand and I feel wonderful.    I love cruising but cruising with fellow “Abrahamsters” (from Abraham see side panel) it is an amazing adventure.  The princess theater holds 700 people and every seat is taken by this seminar.

You can find the full story of how Abraham came into being through Jerry and Esther Hicks’ books or through their website at www.abraham-hicks.com, so I won’t go into it but suffice it to say that Abraham is a group of non physical teachers who are channeled through Esther.  This journey with Jerry and Esther Hicks began nearly 30 years ago and in the beginning, before Abraham, Esther didn’t want anything to do with the whole “paranormal” realm.

 So at these seminars, Jerry introduces Esther and then Esther stands at a podium and with her eyes closed and with relaxing and allowing the energy of Abraham to come through they can talk “through” her.  She is what Jerry calls the happy medium.  Abraham is pure source energy and they always say that even though Esther has found a way to “allow “ their energy to flow through her that any of us can do this.

 I think the closest I have allow Source energy to flow through me, my Source, is during meditation or during an especially awe inspiring event but I’m getting closer and closer to raising my energy in an overall way.

 On this cruise,  I can feel my energy really buzzing in a way that I haven’t felt in a long time.  When we can get away from our “normal” environment to a more relaxing space we can allow ourselves to move to higher vibrational levels.  I feel like I’m moving faster internally in a very pleasing way.

 Now when I take this faster moving me and put me in the presence of Abraham, now that is incredible.  Abraham is pure Source energy and being close to them raises my own energy substantially.  I find my body tingling and sometimes feeling a bit numbed but in the most pleasant sort of way.  When I actually talked to them directly my teeth were humming.

 So at a seminar, after Esther has called up the energy of Abraham, Abraham gives an opening address to set the stage and then accepts questions from the audience,  I  have lots of questions for them and ask for their take on my future endeavors and if they have anything to add.

Talking with infinite intelligence is an amazing experience.  And because everything happens vibrationally, first, before it manifests, they always say that this seminar has already come together through the asking by all of us and now it is manifesting as it should.

My dreams have already come together vibrationally as well and when I’m a match for that energy they will manifest.  This morning as I bask in the wonderful energy of this cruise, laying in a luxurious bed, looking out the cabin doors to the sea, drinking my morning coffee, I had the “zap” knowing that now is my time to have what I’m wanting and that knowing felt superb.

 With Love from Down Under, Connie